The older letters

 

 

 

# 16

 

 

 

Recently I put together a collection of quotes. Now there are millions of good coins. For all occasions. I won’t include who said them.

 

1)       Women are expected to do twice as much as men in half the time and for no credit. Fortunately this isn’t difficult.

2)       The words I am are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to. The thing you’re claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you.

3)       Whenever you see success, someone once made a courageous decision.

4)       Genius, that power which dazzles mortal eyes in often perseverance in disguise.

5)       Make it idiot proof, and someone will make a better idiot.

6)       The vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the virtue of socialism in the equal sharing of miseries.

7)       The highest reward for person toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.

8)       The worst bankrupt in the world is the person who lost his enthusiasm.

9)       The test of success is not what you do when you’re on top. Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.

10)   Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If they are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats.

11)   The heights by great men reached and kept, were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their comparisons slept, were toiling upwards in the night.

12)   If I had 8 hours to shop down a tree, I’d spend 6 hours sharpening my axe.

13)   An autobiography must be such that one can sue oneself for libel and slander.

14)   When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, ‘till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

15)   Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

16)   Towering genius disdains a beaten path. If scorns to tread in the footsteps of any predecessor, however illustrations. It thirsts for distraction.

17)   Some people are so boring they make you waste an entire day in 5 minutes.

18)   History is a collection of agreed upon lies.

19)   The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it’s the same problem you had last year.

20)   The real difference between people is energy, will, purpose, determination, character and insight. That’s the distinction between the great & small. Popularity can’t hurt either.

21)   The difference between life and movies is that a movie has to make sense.

22)   A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

23)   A good person is one who isn’t worried about self, but rather others.

24)   The reading of all good books is indeed like a conversation with the noblest men and women of past centuries in which they reveal to us the best of their thoughts.

25)   You must automate, emigrate and evaporate.

26)   A goldmine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

27)   It is tact that is golden, not silence.

28)   “Be yourself!” is about the worst advice you can give to anyone.

29)   Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives.

30)   It is the mark of many famous people that they cannot part with their brightest hour.

31)   Q: What kind of grad students do you take?  A: I never take straight – A students. A true scientist tends to be critical and somewhere along the line they must rebel against all teachers.

32)   What is conversation? It is clinging to the old & true, against the new and untried.

33)   To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of the arts.

34)   The reasonable adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable people.

35)   Everybody who knows how to read has in her power to magnify herself, to multiply the ways in which she exists, to make her life full, significant and interesting.

36)   When you get the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

37)   Any human anywhere will blossom in a hundred unexpected talents and capacities simply by given the opportunity to do so.

38)   There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s yourself.

39)   In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

40)   Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who are quick.

41)   Choose a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.

42)   First rate people want first rate people. Second rate people want third rate people.

43)   I’ve never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is a temporary situation.

44)   Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

45)   In all periods of life the greatest danger is not take chances.

 

Ok, on another note, I was just wondering about roaches. How they change their sex after they assess their environment. They make determination of the sex ratio and switch if needed. I was wondering if humans do the same. We are born female which explains the male nipples or secondary sexual characteristics. And this can explain homosexuality and other transgender tendencies, since at some early point, a chromosome is added which turns the female into male and he grows male organs, and instincts. But what happens if the brain remains female and the body develops in male fashion. Or the mind develops male and the body grows female. This world explains a lot.

But my question is, does a mother take an unconscious assessment of the sex ratio and breed accordingly. Sure this sounds stupid, but I am serious. There is such a thing as hormonal communication. Think of turtles. They have breeding schedules. It’s like a switch turns on. They even have collective egg layering and synchronized hatching. Ok, we are better that animals, but are we really? When a group of women have close interactions over time, their menstrual cycles begin to synchronize. This has to be a hormonal from of communication. So why does it have to stop there? And it certainly isn’t social conditioning. Social conditioning is a little girl’s craving for a doll. For a store and playhouse. Her conditioning to nurture. Yet where does conditioning end and instinct begin? There younger female foxes become helper foxes and want to take care of offspring. You see this in primates also. They play mothering. Or what about the masses of girls who love to the point of idolatry of rock stars and such. Is this an instinct and prelude of mate preferences of females?

I saw a documentary many years ago. They put male & female birds in separate cages. Now birds are funny, since there is a lot of sexual role reversal among different breeds. It depends on which bird is the more beautiful. Some birds are identical, but in other classes of birds you can actually see who chooses who. In some cases the female birds are all shining, beautiful and colorful, while the males are kind of dull. Or the males are beautiful and the females are dull. Like in a lot of cases you can tell a male turkey from a female turkey, or a male peacock from a female or the most common: chicken from a roaster. In birds when the females are beautiful they are competing for the males and it’s male choice. Or when the male birds are exotic, it’s female choice as the males compete. And that’s true in a lot of species. When males compete they grow in size. Larger fangs, big manes, longer horns. Look at the lack of symmetry in body size of lions vs. lionesses, deer vs. does. The females will reject all but the most dominant. In this case it’s female choice in body size and weaponry. Ok, now back to my point. They put this bird next to a cage of female birds. The birds ignored him. Then they took that male bird and painted a red stripe on his head. The female birds got aroused and agitated. Then they painted a silver stripe on the birds and the females went crazy. They began to peck each other and tried to get through the bars. They established a hierarchy quick.

So if that is understood, then with the premium women place in the beauty industry, technically women should compete for men. Plus the population says there are more women so male rarity factors should also favor male choice and female selection and competition. And because men are bland compared to females’ need for allure. Men should be the prize. And this can also explain young girls worship the rock stars. Then when that sex instinct develops in men, well all bets are off. Men then clearly begin to compete for girls. Her allure clearly comes into play.

 

Anyway, I got a guy named Rob and Jenny. Soon they’ll begin trading and it will be good. I’ll share with you some info on how stocks move soon.

 

Love ya.

 

            Yours Lancelot

 

           

 

# 15

 

 

 

            My Loida, my Swan,

 

 

            A tiny mouse is surrounded by some hungry cats, so it’s squeaking and squeaking and crying, when it suddenly hears a lion roar. A lion comes running and the mouse thinks not to help.

But the lion chases away the cats and helps the mouse to its tiny feet. The mouse thanks him graciously, saying if there was anything he could do to help the lion, to call him. The mouse swore eternal friendship. The lion laughed and waved him off.

            A few days later, the lion is walking through the forest when he is jerked into air caught in a net. Men come running and beat him, then run to get sharp sticks. When the mouse hears the roaring, he comes running and chews through the net so that the lion is free.

            I’m not sure what the moral of the story is, but it has to do with never underestimating the power of friendship in times of difficulty.

            I absolutely love the truths from Aesop. He ranks with Confucius. Both lived so long ago. And their wisdom is timeless. You know plenty since it shapes our culture. Here’s one. You know the lesson but you might be familiar with the story also.

            A father didn’t know what to so about his family. His sons and daughters were always fighting, always at war, refusing even to talk. So much rivalry and resentment. One day he called them all together around a table. He then brought forth a log created out of many sticks tight together in a bundle. He passed the bundle around and told his family to try and break them. They tried but the bundle was so thick they could not. He then untied them, and asked if they could now break the individual sticks. They did with ease.

            He then slammed the table and said: “We are like these sticks. Unified we cannot be broken, but divided among ourselves we will be broken.”

            The moral is: United we stand. Divided we fall.

The secret of power is no secret- it is unity. It’s the combination of interest. Of wills. Of mutual advantage. It’s solidarity.

So again, if a person was asked which organ of the human body is the most valuable, you’d be surprised at the answers you’ll hear. All wrong! Some people will say the brain. Others the hearts, etc.

But think about it. If the lungs fail, you will expire. If your stomach fails. Gone. If the liver, kidney or blood fails. Gone. Gone. Gone. The answer of course is everything is equally valuable. The body is the perfect system. In balance. It attacks invading organisms. You know I often hear this argument we only use 5% of our minds. How ridiculous. We use it all. The brain sends down signals to tell your fingers to grow, and your stomach to rumble when you’re hungry. So much silent

communication.

            So the problem is begged. Why no unity? I once found an answer in 2 unlikely sources- a proverb (not biblical) and a comic (Batman).

            In the proverb, a governor visits a violent mental ward. There were hundreds of the criminally insane and a single female guard. She walked among them without a weapon. So the governor looked around and shocked asked her: “Aren’t you afraid these criminals are going to band you together and take over this place?”

            She said: “It can’t happen. Lunatics never unit.”

            I mean WOW! If you examine the implication of what she said.

To hammer this home, the Joker once told Batman a joke. He said: “Two mental patients freed themselves from their wards. They climbed to the roof, they only had to jump ten feet to a second building, to freedom. So the first says to the second: “Ok, I have a flashlight. I’ll turn it on and you run across the beam to the other side, then I’ll throw it across and you hold the beam steady for me, so I can come across.

The second guy looked at the first in shock. “Are you crazy? Do you think I’m crazy? I’m not walking across the beam made by your flashlight. That’s crazy. I know that when I get half way across, you’ll turn it off.”

This is an example of disassociation when interest cannot align. That’s why, as I think I pointed out in an earlier letter. General Motors is not a car company. It is only a group of people. A unit of people, who design, build and market things. That’s powerful.

Listen to this statement. You can take my castle, my armor, my businesses, my gold. You can take everything, but leave me my people and I’ll have it all back again.

So true. As the expression goes, money doesn’t make the man, it is man that makes the money.

Hey, I’m kind of caught up in football fever. I know you’re a girl in all, but I kind of like some of the teams that they assembled in the last few years. Is that ok? I know you’ll roll your eyes, but I really like it. Now if certain teams start to suck and players get hurt, I won’t like football anymore.

Do you know I was afraid to love you? I was afraid you would become too necessary. I was afraid you’d become the very air I breathe. I was afraid of you being my super girl. The go to girl. You were giving me too much and that’s terrifying. I miss your witty discussions. How you inspire me. The never give up attitude. And you are matchless in courage. Before other people. I feel empty. I feel empty with empty people.

Everywhere there are limits set upon achievement, against expectations. But I was dreaming with you. Dreams to dreams. And I really envy all the people in your life who can stand in your circle. Who get to speak to you? Who get to see your smile? Who can listen to you and be sure of your friendship? Who can be touched by you? And take you and be sure of your affection? You really are a phenomenal lover, I not only love you. I like you- we felt the same. We shared the same taste. Our passion matched. The chemistry was wonderful. We were guided by the same light. The same impulses.

And talking to you. We have knowledge of what each other like. Think about how rare a good talk is. Yes you can pass the time in careless chit chat. But with you… we share our intelligence, our taste in music. It’s not about do you know so and so. Ever been. If it wasn’t for him.

I’m glad you are reading this. Over the years I have been trying to curb my impatience. It took a long time before I learned something called calm. I want our happiness to last always. We recognize each other. We have always recognized each other.

And I learned to do without friends. I know that bugged the hell out of you. Friends are like accomplices in life outside your world. They are also witnesses and investigators of unfaithfulness. Secretly conniving to separate us. I know you’d rather not hear of other lives. But if you want to know- you know I’d share that also. I’d share anything with you. Only you.

Because I want you to know me better. I’ll tell you a bit more about my past and escapades, if you want. I’ll start next letter. Do you want me too?

 

 

                        Yours Lancelot

 

 

 

 

# 14

 

 

            Wish girl,

 

            I’m so happy. Can you bring me presents? I have a pet frog. I name her Allie. My brother says you’re not real, but I just know you’re real. My mother says you’re real as long as I say. Can you bring me some toys? I never get anything. I’ll wash your magic toy bag. Can I come with you? Please. Please.

 

            When I don’t hear from you:

 

Milk curdles in coffee.                                                   Mailbox empty.

Toast burns.                                                                Toilet overflow.

Hot water runs out.                                                       Finger cut on paper.

Shampoo empty.                                                          Meat spoils.

Rain comes.                                                                Newspaper doesn’t come.

Shoelace snaps.                                                          Plant dies.

Envelopes don’t seal.                                                    Pages missing out of book.

Pizza burns mouth.                                                      Pen runs dry.

Light bulb goes out.                                                      Mosquito bites.

Pimple on face.                                                            Loose phone number.

Bored and annoyed by neighbor.                                    Headache.

Nightmare.                                                                   Heart stops.

 

                                               Missing you.

 

I just miss you. Let us stay enchanted. Aching. Shaking. Crazy. You will always be young and fair to me.

Now I have 713 million questions. I want to know who you are.

 

 

1)       If you are mad, what should a person do to make you happy?

2)       What is your favorite candy?

3)       Did you ever write your book?

4)       How do you want your life to be in the next 5 years?

5)       What are 5 things you can do to make your life more interesting?

6)       If someone went through your things they’d be shocked to find…?

7)       If you could stay at a certain age for 5 years, which would it be and why?

8)       What are 3 things you’d like to learn?

9)       What is the best part of a relationship- courtship, sex, knowing each other, or teamwork?

10)   If you were invisible for 24 hours, how would you spend the time?

11)   How often do you go out?

12)   What are 3 things you find beautiful?

13)   Tell me 5 of the wildest things you’ve ever done.

14)   If you had the money, what are 5 things you’d buy?

15)   If you could travel anywhere, where are the 3 places you’d like to visit?

16)   What is your favorite movie?

17)   How do you spend a typical weekend?

18)   What are 3 lines from 3 of your favorite songs?

19)   What do you do for fun?

20)   What traits best describe you?

 

 

Here are some more questions that require some pondering.

 

1)       You saw something you shouldn’t of.

2)       You gave away a present you received.

3)       You got what you weren’t able to get.

4)       You gave into the person who wanted you.

5)       You caught a person in a lie.

6)       You betrayed and somebody was still your friend.

7)       Somebody reminded you of somebody.

8)       You had to give something up sadly.

9)       You cured somebody’s sadness.

10)   You figured it out.

11)   Thunder scared you.

12)   It felt so good to hug somebody.

13)   You did it with ease.

14)   You were the center of a group.

15)   Your luck was excellent.

 

 

Now here’s an oh-la-la … checklist.

 

            - Airplane bathroom                                          - Little person

            - Motel                                                             - Reading stories

            - With 5 inches heels                                        - Writing stories

            - Elevator                                                         - Trading escapades

            - Dominatrix                                                     - Couples

            - Fitting room                                                   - Triples

            - Limousine                                                      - Board games

            - Lap dance                                                      - Dares & Bets

            - Video taped                                                   - Commanded

            - Club bathroom                                                - Commanding

            - Backstage                                                     - Over 50

            - Pool                                                              - Tongue piercing

            - Pool table                                                      - Phone

            - Subway car                                                    - Posing

            - Movie theatre                                                 - Flash

            - On beach at dawn                                          - Rough & Wild

            - Yacht                                                            - Tender & Romantic

            - On washing machine                                      - Mission, Cowgirls, dogs

            - Costume                                                        - Self

            - Ferris wheel                                                   - Self watched

            - After workout                                                  - 6 yin, 9 yang

            - While driving                                                  - Baptisms

            - Under a table                                                 - Multi-hour marathon

            - Taxi                                                               - Toys

            - Dancing                                                         - Girl friends

 

             

            …. la-la-oh

 

 

                                               More later,

 

                                                           Yours Lancelot

 

 

 

 

# 13

 

 

Hey sweet Darling,

 

            Where are you? Is it night where you are? Are we together alone? It is I who holds your attention and you are who holds mine? I jump into your heart through your mind. I hope I can find the right words right now, to make you happy.

            It’s you I love. You. You. You Remember?

            Ok. I don’t have a throne to give you, at least not yet. But I’m working on it. You deserve to be a Queen of an empire. Ok. I don’t have gems and gold to give you. But I’m working on it. I don’t have horses and land and property to give you. But I’m working on it. I don’t owe a jet to whisk you away to adventures across the earth. But I’m working on it. I don’t have a yacht to sail you on foreign waters. But I’m working on it.

            I don’t have too much, but I have so much love to share. And if you give me half the chance, I can make it all right for you, for me, for us. I can fight for us. I can labor for us. I can build and create us. I can give you all these things. And we can walk hand in hand as perfect companions.

            I miss you. I miss you. Remember getting dressed up and going to dinner and watching foreign cinema. I knew you appreciated it. I understand your taste. I understand you’re superior. You may think I might have held someone above you, but I did not. Nobody compared. You owned me. My body, my mind and heart belonged to you. You did know that. And I know certain things made you jealous, just as certain things made me jealous. But I’m here to win you back. To win your love. If it takes 5000 missives and a declaration of my love for you to the whole world, then that’s my sentence. Because you deserve it. You deserve the best. Because where my heart is, there is also where I’ll go and remain.

            Perhaps I don’t have the ability to help you achieve fame, but it is in my power to help you achieve happiness and wealth. If you command me to do so, I’ll chisel you a sculpture. If you command it, I’ll pen you a song. If you command me I’ll document my love for you, so that future generations will lie in the grass and discuss our love and feel they are not alone in beautiful feelings.

            Hen will you give me your heart? When will you give me the key? When will you help me to find the way back to your heart?

            I need you. I need us. I’m ready now. Take me back. Stop doing this to me. I’m your true fucking husband. Me- and you know it. Just as you know you’re my true wife. There was too much passion between us. It was too hit and too fast and we jumped our rail, and crashed. I’m a better driver now and you had more practice also.

            Find a way to talk to me. If you are still ashamed of me, then give me a P.O. Box. You are Cesar’s wife. Let me conquer for you. Let me put millions of dollars in your lap. I have a team. They are learning but still too slow. You know there are few as fast as me. You know there are few who maneuver as fast as I. You know, because you know me. I am part of you. You were a vampire all over me. “What are you doing?”… is all I had to say, and you leapt up and it was ON! You were the best and you knew it. I saw the pride in your eyes. You were so carnal. And I couldn’t sit in a room with you without wanting you. How could that not have made an impression on both of us? I’m in your mind, because you’re in my mind, constantly. You’re still the star of 1000 fantasizes. Many fulfilled. When you said “That was the k_____, … thing you ever ____.” I knew you knew and something was fulfilled in you also. Yeah I remember, I think of that time often also.

            You never knew my heart, because I hid it. You didn’t hear many declarations because I wouldn’t declare it. You never knew many looks, because I wouldn’t define it.  We were too cemented together. I told you everything. You were my best friend and you’ll always be. Our kingdom. An aching dream.

            Just say ok. Just write and say that one word: OK. Tell me something so I know it’s you. I love you more than any on this earth. I love you more than I’ll ever be able to express. Give me the chance to make it right. Let’s talk of our lives. Let’s talk of our dreams and fears. I never told you but you felt so good. It was so heavenly, it was scary. I still know your laughter. I still know your voice. I still know you. Make me your slave. Give in to your heart. Listen to your blood. Love flows in your blood. It commands the body. It talks to another’s heart in its own language. It fevers the mind; it hungers and makes you sick. It makes you crash and toss in your bed. You don’t hear any other person. Plus I know how you love. I know the passion in your soul.

            You knew this would come. You knew we would communicate. You knew any contact would stir passion. Passion is tricky. Misdirected passion, love is hate. Don’t be afraid to feel again. Do you know how many people beg for a second taste of love?

            Sure love anything, anything and it will break your heart. It could be a dog. Love contains fear, blindness and weakness. But I’m going to keep you so. Just love. Just love. I won’t famish you pr overfill you or pull the bowl away as you’re drinking, or regard it as a toy. I do promise. I do. Into my arms and be lost in me, just as I have no doubt you love me still. I’ll be well behaved. Love undivided. A single love for a single love.

            I’ll keep your heart safe. And you keep my heart safe. I’ll keep you pleasured and tingling and you’ll do the same for me.

 

            Sorry this one is so short. Next one longer.

 

                        Yours Lancelot

 

 

 

 

# 12

 

           

 

It’s weird how they say mankind is the crown of creation. I guess, ‘so says man’. But isn’t it amazing how out of nothingness, solids can form, energy forms, then on a random planet, radiation affects it just right and a protein is formed which earns how to duplicate and divide itself. Next it develops an understanding of its environment, develops eyes and ways to communicate with itself and its surrounding. And now here is man- self aware- trying to understand all mysteries.

Yet when you look at animals and insects, they don’t whine about their condition. They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins. They are not demented with the mania of owning things. They don’t sing the praise of those living hundreds of years before.

They say what separates man from animals is his reason? I don’t get that. Animals have amazing reason. An elephant does not just cross over a wooden bridge. It calculates its weight in relationship to the weight of the structure. Or take a puppy and put him on top of a roof. The puppy will bark like crazy, but he won’t jump. Or put a baby on top of some steps. He’ll cry but he won’t climb down. This involves judgment and reason.

I have a friend who lived in Alaska for 6 or 7 years and he tells such amazing stories. He says you can die because of the abundance of mosquitoes, and there are no fleas. Way too cold. He says the ground is permafrost so you cannot sleep on the ground. He says you got to be careful because a bear may snatch your children. He also talks about when you have a fire on your chimney, how the smoke instead of rising, rises a little then turns downward to the ground. Also it’s the land of the midnight sun. And instead of watching the sun rise and fall, you can watch the sun travel in a circle without it ever getting dark or you can see the hue of a perpetual dawn, yet the sun won’t rise and will travel in a circle. The almost sun. This guy is an Indian all wearing Indian dream catcher. This theory about global warming is the earth tilting on its axis so that more sun is now hitting the polar caps and it would also explain the violence of the storms.

I learned that Celine Dion is cancelling her Vegas show. That sucks. I’m totally bummed out. I actually saw it. Five years ago they showed the opening night on T.V., the complete show. It was so amazing. Like in one the background is New York, in another she is floating and in a picture frame, and there are others in smaller picture frames, mimicking her movement so it’s an optical illusion like a reflection. She makes good music.

You know why they have all those cameras and mirrors in Vegas? All that faces recognition surveillance? Because you have card counters. When you count cards you can gain a mathematical edge over the casino. In most games, the casino has an unbeatable edge. For example in roulette there is a pay out of 36 for every dollar risked. But there are 38 slots. So if you cover all slots, you will still be at a 2 dollar loss. This is how edges work.

But think about how the edge shifts if a team enters and plays a game like black jack 21. A group comes in and bets the minimum. They know the casino uses 6-8 desks of cards in a shoe. So this team sits down and plays and plays, and looses. Their purpose is to exhaust all the low cards. They play and keep track of how many high cards still remain. Once all the low cards are exhausted and the deck is heavy concentrated with high cards, they signal the big player who comes over and bets the maximum. So if he is given 18, and the dealer has 3 showing and a high card like 10 in his hand, he has to take a hit. If he’s delt another 10 or a Queen, he looses with 23. And this happens again and again.

Edge: The team of players. For that reason teams are secret.

 

There is a book called “Unskilled and unaware of it. How difficulties in recognizing ones own incompetence leads to inflated self assessment.” Isn’t this title brilliant? It applies to everybody.

I think a lot of what happens in life is a matter of odds. Think about dice. If you were to roll 2 dice, it’s best you decide to place your bet on 11, than any other combination. Particularly if you are rolling for a number of rolls. Think about this. If you put your money on 4, then you have 2 ways to roll a 4: (2+2) (3+1).  But if you put your money on 11, you have 5 combinations: (5+6) (7+4) (8+3) (9+2) (10+1). So in the long run you’ll have 5 times as many chances of winning with 11 than 4.

You can actually view life in terms of extreme and normal. Like when we learn how to calculate an average in school, is not accurate the (a+b+c)/3 wrong? (100+150+200 = 450/3 = 150 average) Instead it’s a bell curve. The average height might be 5’5 for the average woman. Most women’s heights will fall into that range. If it peaks at 5’5 then a height of 6’5 is unusual and 7 foot is rare and extreme. On the other end a height of 4’9 is unusual and 3’1 is unusual and extreme.

Everything has a normality and an extreme. Think about publishing. Most books that are published don’t sell 50,000 copies. Then you have extreme books like The DaVinci Code or Harry Potter that sell 500 million. But instead of saying this was a stroke of brilliance; could success be contributed to chance? Think about it, if something has a 99% chance of failure, then there will be one incident of success. Perhaps those books were the lucky lottery winners.

Think of this game, or scam. Say you compile a mailing list of 4000 people. Then you mail one half and say the A team will win. The other half you say the B team will win. Well on one half you are going to be right. The next week you mail the winning half and tell one half of the team A will win, and the second half of team B will win. You repeat, and repeat and repeat. Your group goes from 4000 to 2000 to 500 to 250 to 125 to 62- by then these winning halves are convinced you picked 7 consecutive winners. At this point you can ask for money since they will be believers when in fact your choice was random.

So everything from restaurant’s success to a nightclub to a toy may all be random. Just the winning lottery ticket and not a matter of skill at all.

Skill only places a bit of edge in your favor in some things. If you gave a million people 10 dollars, and had them trade with each other, eventually only a handful of people will end up with all the money. If skill is involved the process will occur quicker. Life works with the power law of the call of the many and the chosen few. Put 100 sharks in a pool with f100 fish, after the fish are gone, the sharks eat each other until 1 or 2 remain. When a job hits the newspaper in a big city, many will be called while 1 is selected. On the planet Earth there are 600 billion people and about 3 billion of the opposite sex. For a couple to find each other and select each other, while neglecting the rest of the world, is a lottery. The few.

I always had a vague notion of this concept. That’s a reason why I always had multiple projects… I think it’s the correct way to go about life, because it’s the only way to get multiple lottery tickets. Big corporations believe in maximum tinkering. Innovation is in trying new things. Many new things. You don’t know which idea will stick. But here’s a lesson my dumb ass didn’t pick up on. You can’t innovate unless you are willing to accept mistakes. A champion has to make a lot of tries and as a consequence accept a lot of failure or there won’t be any learning. And I guess you can’t call for risk taking and then frown upon and react to tiny failures. It crushes the spirit of a champion. I know, I know don’t say it. I feel terrible.

You know I tell people about trading and one point I stress in this. Let’s say you employ a system that looses you money, then looses money again, and again, and again, and again and again. At this point you’d abandon the system and conclude it doesn’t work. See the problem is, when you get negative feedback, you respond to it. You’re affected by it. You respond to failure. It’s human nature. But what if I told you that the system worked 93% of the time? Those are great odds. It says if you use the system 100 times, you will make money on 93 attempts. Excellent. It also means it will loose 7 times. You’ll loose money 7 times. So if those 7 times cluster and you loose 7 consecutive times, you’ll abandon a system that will then win 93 times. The point is when you place failure in the context of probability and odds; it will remove a lot of anxiety.

The funny thing is all of this can explain why the rich get richer. Once they win, they can try more things and pick up more lottery tickets of life. This results in a cumulative advantage. It’s a momentum play. A rock star breaks through with a hit song. A mania results. His next album is garbage, but it sells anyway. His past success creates more publicity and a bigger public relation campaign, as more reporters sell information to a hungry public, more hype that they themselves creates and more reporters jumped in on. A self-fulfilling prophecy results and it truly becomes a winner take all society. Extreme.

Martha Stewart & Oprah become billionaires, the average women gets a job as a nurse, secretary, domestic worker; their salary a speck of what these two titans make. Money jumps out of your pocket into theirs.

Look, I’m praying to the gods that there is really a power of persuasions of lovers. I really believe nothing is really lost. Nothing can go so far that it can’t be salvaged. And in love… well love solves all things. I dream, I dream, I dream. I can close my eyes and see us holding hands on a perfect clear day.

Between us, who was then happiest? You made me happier than I made you, but now I want you happiest. Who lavished on whom? You lavished more upon me, now I want it is that you are lavished upon. You have been proud of me. I want to swell with pride of you. I do. If anybody has ever despaired of you, I don’t despair of you. You’re my girl. You’re my world. You’re my urge of urges.

 

Be thou my God(dess).

You’re my 1 in a billion.

 

                                                                       Your Lancelot

 

 

 

 

# 11

 

 

Hey lady, my Cheetah girl,

 

 

            There’s a gift I want to send you- an olive branch of peace. Actually it was gold roses.

            You know a few years ago, I found out where the red heart came from. You know Valentine’s Day hearts. Well obviously the heart in your body doesn’t look like that. It is a flower that I’m sure people never heard about. It’s called a Bleeding Heart. It is read and in the shape of a heart. It even has an arrow. It’s godlike. Very pretty.

            I talked to some people in other countries, and they have different names for this flower, in Sweden it’s called Luentenants heart, and it is about a man who left his girl to go to war.

            What you may not know, every flower has a story, and some are really beautiful. Listen to the Tiger Lily out of Korea. The story is about an old man who funds a tiger who is wounded by arrows. The old man feels so much sorrow; he carries the tiger to his cave, where he feeds him more than half his food. He changes his bandages and brushes him and talks to him all day, every day for months. One day the tiger dies, and the old man is staggered. He builds a tomb for this tiger, out of gold. Then the old man dies out of starvation and grief. Somehow the tiger battles his way back from the land of death and returns in the form of a lily. He then searches far and wide looking for this old man. But he can’t find him, so he searches through out the earth. He then finds the old man’s stone grave, and transforming into a tiger, he lies on the grave and guards it. Then one day the tiger dies again to look for the old man in the land of the dead.

            I just love that kind of theme.

            There is a beautiful poem; it was called the bailiff’s daughter from Islington or something. I can’t give you a direct quote, it is a beautiful poem, but it say how there was this handsome man in love with the bailiff’s daughter from Islington, but she was so shy, and said nothing when he declared his love. So because he didn’t know what to think, he went away to a post. She was so heartbroken, all her friends questioned her. She couldn’t take it and she left the town to try to find him and spent 3 years on the road. She suffered. Then one day she saw her man riding on a great stead returning to Islington. So she stopped him. “A penny, kind Sir? For it would ease a lot of my suffering.” He looked at here and relied: “First you must tell me if you know of a bailiff’s daughter of Islington.” She then

said: ”She died of grief some time ago.”

Tears welled in his eyes and he said: “In that case take all my gold and my horse.”

So she uncovered part of her face that was hidden, and burst into tears and said: “She stands before you and is ready to be your wife.”

            I think that is a beautiful story.

            Loida, close your eyes and open your imagination. Realize how much is needed for happiness. Imagine petting the long haired stallions the Cossacks rode in Siberia. Imagine the permafrost under your feet at the foot of the Himalaya. Paging through histories and records of conquering kings, written by quills. Imagine asking directions from an opium smoking Chinese in a doorway. Imagine attending the fairs of Khiva. Walking the streets in Krakow, or Nagasaki where shadows of people can still be seen on the walls. Or meeting the porpoise hunters loading their spears and sledges drawn by Finland dogs. Can you imagine the beauty in the gardens of Babylon? Can you envision the majesty of the Temple of Olympus? Or the jasmine fields in Jerusalem where Jesus may of strolled? Or riding in a pear shaped balloon over Melbourne? Could there be anything more impressive than exploring castles in France, Britain, Germany or Italy? Aren’t you curious about the Transylvanian castle of Vlad? Would it scare you to walk through the mummy pits of the Celts, the Egyptian? What would the moonlight look like on the hard blue ice of Mousehead Lake? Would you be dazzled by the never ending roar and mist of Niagara? Would you not be astonished by the hot dawn rising on the Serengeti? Or to hear Indian war dances of tradition in the Rio Grande? Or to have cherry blossoms land in your hair in the Shenandoah Valley? Or to walk among the poor calm diggers of Mississippi, and watch a poor wedding of a couple under a great weeping willow tree? Or reading sand stone relief of Kronos, Isis, Brahma, Shiva, Odin, and Shastaj. To hear the Spanish guitars in Toledo and compare them to celebrations in Mexico. To see an eagle nest over the Colorado River. To hear the whistle of a Swiss locomotive laboring up a hill.

            There is so much richness and variety if you allow it to consume your soul.

            I want you to know me for who I have become. I don’t want you to see me with yesterday’s eyes, because I am not yesterday. I understand you wanted to tear out this heart. Perhaps there are still wild dogs and dragons in your heart wanting to rip. But why war? Life is short. Why harbor anything but love. Rip anybody open and they won’t look good.  Once upon a time, I allowed the scorpion to sting me and others. But when you look at things, treating people poorly so that they might treat you better is never good. Sometimes it’s the hardest thing to learn. Yet it’s found when you focus on joys, when you seek to taste joys, you learn to try not to hurt others or plan hurt towards others.

I just want you to know, I’m going to turn those dogs into birds and lovely singers. I’m going to be so good to you that it will soften your heart. I stored up all this wealth of knowledge for you. You’re my girl. I’m eternally yours. I’m yours. I’m at your disposal. And out of my love for you I’m going to share everything I have and am, all my joys and gains with you. It’s all yours. I’m your sword, your child, your soul mate, your perfect companion, your genie, your love.

            I’ll align my dreams and wishes with yours. And will spend myself to make them true. You shall always be first, and in my eyes excel all others. If I could have my wish I’d make life insufferable for you. Only happiness. Only smiles and kisses. When you go to bad I’d rack your body in waves and ecstasy. I only bring my higher self to you, as yours to keep. You are sufficient for me. I’m willing to stake all for you. I want to be that perfect friend that we search for our whole lives. Only love. 400% love. All for you. All for Loida. And yes, I can support you now. I didn’t know how before. I wasn’t sure. That’s why I couldn’t come before now. I wasn’t strong enough. I didn’t know ho to translate my abilities into providing a life we both could enjoy. Our life was too crowded. Sorry about that also.

            Did you know, in Taoist belief they define love as a combination of A & B loves. In B love, a person can watch a flower, watch it grow. Appreciate. While a love is more likely to involve picking the flower, making arrangements out of them. They say B love last and stay fresh, while B love can grow stale.

            What does that mean? Sure we cannot have the same thoughts. Nothing is repetitious; tiny things are different. We wonder how we arrived at that decision, from year to year. What was exciting becomes dull. The friends we cared the world for shrink into shadows. The stars, the water can become common. Pictures so empty, books that were so mysterious, collect dust.

            I just don’t agree that possessive love leads to staleness. Now I would have agreed if they said, don’t begrudge someone else the possession of precious things, because he is only the custodian, and must worry about theft, and seeing them overshadowed by newer friends while you can enjoy them without sharing his anxiety. And yes, ok I’ll agree that it can seem something can loose its charm as the novelty wears off.  But that’s only for people who thrill in acquisitions and not in ownership. Most people attach sentimental importance to others and objects. It’s not a question of glitter but of meaning. If you hear a song for the first time as you are experiencing your first kiss, that song will always retain sentimental meaning. You could then possess this song without it ever getting stale. It transports.

            You have girls that receive flowers, or pick flowers, and pamper them, display them as long as they yield its maximum charm, then as the petals fall, they press them in books and keep them and cherish them.

            When we taste a pleasure we want to re-taste it again and again. We talk about it, describe it to others so that we may re-taste our pleasures and sorrows. We love life because we love loving. We love joy. And that can come from taking possession of things. We also do this to feel safe.

            Think about the instinctual cravings of man and woman. Women crave to be beautiful, while men are programmed to be acquisitive. We want things. Why? Because we must prove able to take care of women in this world. Why does he want money, cars and homes? Who do you think that’s for? It’s for you. So that you may choose him. And you may fret to know if you are attractive enough to win him and keep him. You couldn’t change this instinct in man, just as you can’t command the sun to stop shining.

            Think of things in that context for a moment. Many conflict ridden teens and adults would rather be someone bad than nobody. If positive roles can’t lead to obtaining the resources he needs, he’ll seek negative ones. Ask how many women sacrifice for love, how they’d give up school for love. How many women search for ways to be in the centre of the attention? How many drama queens? Women in the end obey their nature and you got to expect the same from men.

            I want to cater to you and pamper you. I want to be there when you’re 80 and we can shake our heads at the many chapters of our life. Again, I just wanted to reach a level where I could make us safe in the world. And I feel I’m there now. When I pick up a financial text book or trading book or newspaper, and they are talking about the VIX, interest rate swaps, MAR ratios, CDO risk- this is no longer a foreign language to me. I fully understand it and have mastery over it. I know I failed you before, I know it. I’m so sorry. But I want you to smile again; I want you to be so happy. I want to make you happy and fill your life with love and pride and good times, because you deserve it. You really do. You are so generous and kind. You are my heart.

            But I don’t think love grows stale. Only if you don’t know how to replenish its fuel. People at times can’t merge, or they are not of the same mind or they allow their inner demons to run amuck, and they wound their love with lies and neglect and betrayals and fights, but that is only a rebellion against a stagnant love that refuses to grow, and won’t forget the petty slights. But you can sail the earth only to release everything you ever wanted was always within and right before your eyes. Love can sleep. And it can be reawakened.

 

 

                                               Yours Lancelot

 

 

 

#10

 

 

My Latin Diva, my Loida,

           

 

            Are you aware all of us wear an invisible sign across our chest listing our instructions and warnings? Ok, so they can’t be seen by eyesight, but they can be seen by insight.

            A sign might say: I want to be important and respected.

                                      I want to be admired and want attention.

                                      I want to be appreciated.        

                                      I am beautiful and sexy.

                                      I want to be regarded as thuggish or intimidating.

                                      I want to be regarded as strange and unique.

                                      I am shy, safe.

                                      I dislike ridicule, bothered by others demands.

            You know these people. You see them every day. And I think you got to deal with people according to their signs- if you wish to be a friend. I guess my signs say I want to be popular, I want to be needed. I want to be successful. I want to be smart and multicultural. I want to be in the known. I want to teach.

            I am not perfect. God I am trying to be less of a mess. Juggling too many things. My attribute. My inability to say no. My recognition hunger. My attention needs. My crisis inducing. My envy of others wealth. My impossible expectations. My…

            I really have been working on it for years. I had to learn how to calm down, slow the pace. Sit on the bench and watch the clouds sail. Appreciate the little things. The simple things. And I got to always remind myself, people want to feel good. People want to be treated well.

            And I think sometimes it is about how you change your perceptions. Say a person is making contributions. Let’s say thing s don’t go well. Usually a person feels crushed. When a person lets down someone, they feel it. But in order to feel absolved (is that the right word?), whatever, anyway don’t feel bad, instead feel good for all the little things that could be done. And I find the best way to feel good is when you do good. When you make someone happy.

            Plus nothing is easy. Can’t make the waves come any faster. People move at their own pace, just as people love in their own way. You can only hope they love, or do things is to your taste.

            In all, I find you control who you become. You don’t have to become that person or this person. You don’t have to be bitter, or mean or depressed or one to complain.

            Loida, you are so important to me. You are the most important person to me. You always have been. And in my heart you had no rivals. Nobody was above you.

            Our intimacy where the best moments of my life. You made me feel so good. You were the best. And you felt so good. Like heaven. I think about it often.

            You know I think about you, just as I know I am not far from your mind. And in case you think I hate you, I don’t. You’re my girl. We are ultimately, not our conditions. We are and were not. I hope you understand that. People behave differently under different situations, remove that context and people are genuinely wonderful. You know this.

            Also when people share their hearts, really open themselves, give their all. All their heart is broken, it’s hard to open it again, they want to protect it. I had so much immaturity then, but I’d be better in protecting your heart now, caring about you. Only you. Not just for a season, but always. I wanted to marry you one day. I saw us living small, but happy. Just us.

            When you look at people, you’ll find some people don’t handle stress very well. They say love makes monsters, but I don’t believe that. I believe it is stress.

            They say nor-epinephrine is released in response to danger- while epinephrine is released in anticipation. This causes more frequent and stronger contractions of the heart. There is also a resistant stage, because prolonged stress causes severe pathologic exhaustion. The body can’t handle high adrenocorticoid levels without dysfunction.

            I guess the best remedy for stress is sleep. Sleep for days. Sleep is an amazing healer. Now of course, anxiety can make your dreams haunt you. The good thing about dreams is that as that dream chemical is reabsorbed, dreams have a way of erasing themselves out of your memory and that defies recall.

            Like I never understood when people say they have that feeling of déjà vu. You get impacted with a memory and feel you experienced it before. I personally think you just got a squirt of that dream chemical and it makes you think you experienced it before.

            And I know that’s a powerful chemical. Melatonin. People who are hallucinating and hearing voices are not crazy. All that’s happening is that half their brain is being assailed with that chemical. Think about it. When you dream, you see images, food, do things, have conversations with people. You can eat food, laugh at jokes, have sex, even go to the bathroom. Well people who are walking around having in and out conversations, are half asleep. That chemical induces dreams. That chemical is weaving together dream imatry and they are responding to it. They can be talking to you one moment, and talking to a ghost the next. And yes those people are there, but as dream images. That’s why they are given Haldol, Moban or Lithium to suppress that chemical.

            But stress also causes hypersensitivity. That can make people into monsters. Everything becomes magnified. You see insults in every comment. Paranoia. And you’re simply explosive.

            In a medical journal I read these documents that emerged out of the Vietnam conflict. A lot of soldiers were snapping on the battlefield. They’d attack their own people, start seeing the enemy everywhere, cry and suck their thumb. Shell shock. This information was directed to doctors who treat them.

            It basically says if you cater to their illness, you might convince yourself how sick they are and prolong the affair. The solution had to do with expectation. Label anyone as mentally ill, support that illness and he/she will be ill, and stay ill.

            So the question came. Why did these soldiers crack? Why? Because war is exhausting. In combating fear he uses a great deal of mental energy. There is an end point to those reserves. If there is no chance of relief and no factors to sustain him, they snap. Hi judgement will not be good, alertness may suffer, irritable, regression to a child like stage, cruelty, etc. The solution: sleep. And the expectation is it will be better.

            Think about this.

 

            Ok. Let me lighten up the mood. Let me help you float. Have a seat. Play some soft music in the background. Light some candles. Take about 30 seconds for each question.

           

            Think back and remember a time you screamed with laughter.

 

            Think back to your last days of school.

 

            Think of a time when you arranged something beautiful.

 

            You saw another having the best time of their life.

 

            When life was cheerful.

 

            You were passionate.

 

            You enjoyed seeing the rain come down.

 

            You found something you lost.

 

            You watched a kite flying.

           

            You wanted to stay.

 

            You gave into the person that wanted you and you wanted.

 

            You made a dog insane with happiness.

 

            You felt mysterious.

 

            You granted a favor.

 

            You watched twilight fade.

 

            You cured somebody’s sadness.

 

            You thrilled at another’s jealousy.

           

            You felt you couldn’t get enough of something.

 

            Your favorite Christmas present.

 

You saw a pretty scene.

 

You approached someone sexually.

 

You kept it.

 

You had a really good conversation.

 

You felt peaceful.

 

Do you feel better? More later, ok, Darling? I know I don’t deserve it, but I want your heart again. You’re my girl.

 

 

                                   Your Lancelot

 

 

 

 

# 9

 

            Hey you, my Loida,

 

            You know, once I asked my dad “What is the grass?” He couldn’t answer me, he didn’t know what it was any more than I did.

            It’s a complex question. Sure you can give a definition of grass. You can name the chemical components of grass, even quantify it as a food sauce and how it grows and expands. But that wasn’t the question. The question is really: why grass at all? Why it’s purpose? The meaning of grass.

            I think the best answer was silence. It was noble that he couldn’t answer it. He didn’t try to convince me or give me some crap.

            So much in life is misunderstood. So many people are misunderstood. And we have a great quest for meaning. We look for it, and sometimes find it by attaching to things that give us meaning. It could be the pursuit of money, of sex, of a job, of a cause, of children, of a fulfilling life, of religion.

            Oh this search for meaning, we all sacrifice a lot for it. Give our lives to various institutions for it. They become our identity, they become who we are. And soon we reinforce it in a thousand different ways.

            Even take something like suffering. Man has a problem of justifying himself, explain himself; he/she suffers from the problem of his meaning. Suffering is not his problem, but why suffer? He’ll seek it out, he’ll be his own university and laboratory, he’ll place himself in danger, and he’ll welcome risk and hardship. It’s the meaningless of suffering and not suffering itself. If you attach it to religion, if you attach it to chance encounters in a hostile environment, then it suddenly has meaning. A human meaning. You are no longer a feather in the wind. Coming from oblivion, gaining consciousness, and returning to oblivion, no meaning, except the individual label we attach after thinking about it for so long. An empty black board, until you write your own personal story.

            We are born lost, without understanding.

            I love Greek mythology legends, because of the lessons they imply. But those lessons are not spelled out, you got to study them and pluck the gems, and they leave room for so many different interpretations.

            Take the story of Sisyphus. He stole fire and brought it to man. Went to hell and plenty of defiance. Just a crazy story. What I want to explain is his curious punishment. Really think about this, because it explains the conditions of millions of individuals.

            He was forced to push a rock up a mountain. When it got to the top, it rolled back down, and he trudged down, where he was forced to push the rock up the mountain. For all eternity.

            See there is nothing crueler than dreadful, futile, hopeless labor. Picture his body. His cheek against the stone, straining, pushing, struggling towards accomplishing nothing. How many people find themselves in nowhere occupations? It is worst than rats in a treadmill, running fast and getting nowhere. Work with no true advancement, until when? You’re 65? Until you’re a decrepit mummy who grinded away the best and most productive years of your life. For a life that is merely consistent. Not working with a sense of joy. Not maximizing income. Not bringing joy or feeling joy.

            This creates a situation where there’s hopelessness and meaningless that doesn’t go away. I mean, how do we live and work that provides growth, opportunities, new worlds and pleasure? How do you work without loosing color, that sparkle, and the tiredness is not from an inner rebellion but is that tired you feel when playing too long or after a deep fulfilling orgasm?

            Many people make wrong turns in life. That’s what life is about- pathways. But so much is in our control. Think about it. Being blind is bad. But if you’re willing to learn how to read in Braille, and move with a cane, or dog, then life can deliver you countless joy. Helen Keller was blind and deaf and she went on to write and lecture. She didn’t settle. She didn’t give up. She didn’t just make the best out of her situation; she transcended her condition and created meaning for her life.

            Why live in a closet? And if a closet if fine, then your universe is too small. A person who can’t read is a tragedy, but what is worst is not trying to learn to read. It’s never too late to begin. It’s never too late to start anew. A person frequently believes: I stole once, so I might as well remain a thief.

            Loida, if you can, I urge you to read a book called Les Miserables. Please read the book, the unabridged. It is said to be the greatest novel ever written. I agree. It can’t be touched.

The hero is a thief who was a released prisoner who was made bad because he stole a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. He went to a town where he was shunned, he was taken in by the church decided to steal all the silverware. He did. Caught by the police, and the owner of the church granted him mercy by not only letting him have the silver but give him more. He is suddenly transformed, and becomes an angel of light while being dogged by his past. The book is excruciating and will wring tears out of you from beginning to end because the decisions he is forced to make pulls your heart strings. But it is also about a parallel life. A woman of beauty seduced by a noble man who impregnates her, without any intentions to marry her. She is shunned and can’t support her child. She doesn’t want to go to the brothel, after the hero’s (who becomes a mayor) colleagues force her from the job. (The mayor doesn’t know). She is lured to sell her hair, then her teeth until poverty forces her to give up her child to foster care while she enters that life. Her child’s care taker exploits her by demanding more and more money for her child’s care, until she lay sick and dying. The mayor arrives, wants to take care of her, and realizes she is dying through his companies fault. He agrees to grant her wish to deliver her child to her before she dies but something comes up. He learns the child is abused and also sick, but somewhere else another man is condemned for a crime the hero once committed. So the question becomes, does he save the child, allow her mother to see her before she dies, or, go to the trial, deliver the falsely accused, confess and not only loose his government position, wealth and power, and return to prison to be condemned to death. He saves the condemned, escapes and rescues the child, and brings her up while in flight from law. This is merely an example. The problem and choices are endless. He becomes a wonderful man.

            But the story is about starting over, battling out of dead ends, and righting wrong turns.

            You are strong. I always recognized that in you. You are stronger than most. Stronger than me. To a degree I learned strength from you. You demonstrated it. You wanted to be the goose that laid the golden eggs just as much as I want to be your genie in a bottle now.

            This is the problem of change. Making new lives, new attitudes, new viewpoints. First we always have an investment in our decisions. We have an investment in our lifestyle, our jobs, our relationships, to change anything; we feel that is an admission that we were wrong. Even how we think. Even our beliefs. We spent time adopting them. And we argue with others to protect our views from change.

            And sadly, most people are blind to change. They don’t really understand where change is needed. For some change is never welcome. First people hate the unknown, you know this. In the unknown, a new situation can be created which other problems and issues will emerge of. And those setting themselves can create change. As you know people view changes differently, the potential consequences, personal impact, the cost. And even if they see change is necessary, they may not be able to make the emotional transition.

            I think the one who voices change must craft a vision of glory. Moses wouldn’t have been able to lead the Jews through the wilderness for 40 years if he didn’t offer a vision of a promised land. So I think time is needed to implement change. Time is needed for the adjustment.

            But that vision is hard to construct because of a single question: How do I fit into this? See for a long time you asked a question… What are we? I didn’t fully understand the question, because I didn’t really know the answer. You were drugging me, slowing weaving your spell. You addicted me with so much pleasure; I began to see you in my sleep. Not good. The situation was complicated enough without me hiding my love for you. You so know me. They say anybody can sail like a pro when waters are smooth. But what separates each other is can you pilot a ship when the storm churns the water? I do very well on smooth roads, and not so good when the road gets bumpy.

            When I was growing up I was impacted by this cartoon. If you watched Bugs Bunny or Tom & Jerry, then I’m sure you saw this one also. It’s the ants and the grasshopper. The ants are working like crazy while the grasshopper is under the tree, making fun of the ants, playing music. He keeps telling the ants to enjoy themselves as it was summer. Why not enjoy? They told the grasshopper they had to work.

            The winter came. The grasshopper was cold and dying while the ants were inside living it up with plenty of food.

            Well this cartoon came from an old Aesop fable. The moral is: In times of plenty prepare for times of winter.

            So true, so true. Winter will come. Winter will come in everybody’s life. It arrives in the form of sickness, disaster, old age, trouble, loss jobs, ruined relationships. Life is change. So prepare, prepare. Anticipate the future. In engineering, if you were to design a bridge, and that bridge was to hold 10 tons, you’d build the bridge to hold 150 tons. Why?  Metal and land erosion, and over capacity. You’d always create a margin of safety.

            This is also a good thing when you implement change. Knowing what to suspect. Having that vision of life. Well it counters desperate moves when you’re up against the wall.

            Finding the stock market was a godsend for me. It’s purely an intellectual pursuit. It can be done from anywhere in the world. It’s like if you want money, you just enter the market and get it. As much as you want – as long as you know what you’re doing. You can trade from a bathroom in Phoenix, or Rome. If you have access to a phone, and know a bank that will execute your trades, it’s done.

 

            Linda, kindly offer $10,000 dollars on the 30 long bond.

            Were at 99 3/32

            1 Buy. (or sold! or I’ll take that offer)

            Bob [Dealer], you can sell $10,000 of the 30 year treasuries to this gentleman.

            That’s agreed.

 

This transaction takes 5 seconds. Money sails from one account to the next. And it’s done electronically where you can place and match your own orders, and then the transaction takes 3 seconds. Then you can be faxed confirmation orders.

            And one of the major questions is: how much does it take to start? That is an odd question. There are penny stocks that can be brought for 1 cent each. You could buy 1000 shares for $10 dollars and if the stock rose to a dollar you’d make $ 1,000 dollars. You could also buy options to buy great companies like Morgan Stanley, Coca Cola, etc. for 5 cents each, but you are betting there will be a price move of a certain magnitude in a certain amount of time.

            And in commodities and futures you can buy mini contracts of currencies as low as 100 dollars to control 10,000 dollars worth. Or mini wheat, soy or corn contracts as low as 50 dollars. [a 1 cent move is equal to $10 dollars since it is only 1000 bushels as opposed to 5,000 bushels for a regular contract.]

            So it’s relatively inexpensive to start. And it’s kind of easy to set up an account and make transactions. You open up a commodity account with a deposit and use that deposit to trade with.

            Capital gains taxes are 35% of your gains and commission cost [brokers] are 7 dollars per transaction.

            The hard part is to understand the relationship between asset classes and predicting moves. As an example:

            Take gold. Yeah gold is used in electronics, and jewelry and it counter balances currencies, blah blah blah. But more importantly is to understand the relationship between gold, silver, platinum and copper. Here’s where math comes in.

            If gold is 800 dollars an ounce, and silver us 10 dollar an ounce, then the ratio is 80:1. That means it takes 80 ounces of silver to equal 1 ounce of gold. Next you’ll find platinum is 1600 dollars an ounce, so gold to platinum is 2:1 or it takes 2 ounces of gold to equal 1ounce of platinum. Next you’ll find copper at 3 dollars an ounce. And that ration to silver is 3.3:1, or it takes 3 ounces of copper to equal 1 ounce of silver.

            Once you know this ratio, you find this ration holds to a degree.

If the electronic sector booms call for a high demand of copper, copper prices will rise, and to keep that relationship in place, silver must rise in direct proportion, will in turn push prices up along the rest of the chain.

            So in the metal case, you’d look at the spreads between metals. Usually the engine is in currency moves. Gold and the dollar show a negative correlation, which means they move in opposite directions. When the dollar gets weaker other currencies get stronger and rise. When gold prices fall, the dollar is getting stronger.

            All this has predictive significance. You must know what leads what, what lags what, and what it means if those relationships change.

            Let’s say gold rises but platinum falls. How would this play out? Will gold also fall or will platinum also rise? This will determine how you make your bet. This is a question the market may throw at you, hoping you will get it wrong and loose money.

            The key is to know the tendency from historical data. Your system may tell you to check other variables. Such as if the dollar is also down, the gold should stay up and that means platinum should fall. Or perhaps copper is also down, which means gold should fall also since platinum is down. And other variables can be added on and tested, such as bond and stock market moves. Once you know these relationships, you can tell when something is out of line and you can make your play accordingly.

            Over years you can collect observations and develop trading rules such as:

       ‘As the dollar weakens, the price of oil, gold and grains increase. ‘

 

Now, I was talking to somebody today about commodities. Corn rose from 2 dollars to 4 dollars and stabilizing at 3.40, yet soybeans rose from 8 dollars to 10 dollars a bushel (mid Aug.-Nov.), cotton from 57 to 65, wheat from 5.40 to 9.80; these are colossal moves when you understand the magnitude of the commodity you control.

The dollar during that time fell from 82 to 77 cents against most currencies. And oil rose from 68 dollars a barrel to 100 dollars.

So as of Nov 07 this rule holds true. But here is the issue:

Sugar did not move, and stays within a normal range. With grains all rising, why not sugar? And will it rise or fall? And when? It’s an excellent question, and happily I know the answer. When you look at a can of soda or a candy bar, and look at the wrapper, you’ll see the word corn syrup or dextrose, glucose or fructose. All this is sugar made from corn. With corn in such abundance from ethanol demand, the

buy - product is corn based sugar. This competes with sugar cane & beets so it will depress prices. So depending on what corn will do, sugar will respond. If corn prices rise, then more people will plant corn and so much corn on the market will drive corn prices down, and if corn falls or collapses, less people will grow corn since the there’s no money in it. And corn syrup will rise and cause people to use cheap sugar, causing a demand and prices will rise.

 

            This is the logic behind a trade as I see it, with amazing predictive significance. I am trying to find worthy players so bad, people trust worthy, it’s not as easy as imagined.

            But as I indicated earlier, if you traded a contract of sugar, the amount of sugar you control is 120,000 lbs. Or one solid train car worth of sugar. A 1 cent move means you gain 1 cent for each pound (120,000 lbs. or 120,000 pennies). That comes to 1,200 dollars for each one cent move.

            If the stars align, the price move could be substantial.

            I am a bit upset- Visa is coming out. I am preaching Visa to people since last year. It may come out tomorrow. I wish we could share again.

 

                        More later, ok. Darling.

 

                                               Lancelot

 

 

 

# 8

 

 

My Loida, my Spanish heat,

 

 

In love, they say the beginnings are nice. To a sense that should be true. In that courtship phase both individuals are showing their best selves. Words are always tender, every art is always pleasing. It’s delicious.

So often times, this time is so pleasurable, people tend to get imprinted like baby ducks, who would believe a battleship is her mother if she’s caught early enough. Again it’s so pleasurable that both parties might instigate fights and break-ups, so that when a break-up occurs they can re-taste the beginnings again, as they attempt to repair what was momentarily separated.

The question you can ask: “Is welded steel stronger than steel that has never been separated?”

Welded steel is stronger.

            Is it any surprise that there is so much talk about makeup sex? But check this out Loida, that pleasure is only sharp due to the contrast. We are actually conditioned from childhood to understand, after good comes bad and after bad comes good.

            Imagine being a baby. Your mother picks you up and caresses you, but because your mom has other things in her life, she puts you down in your crib, alone. The child internalizes this anxiety, which after pleasure comes anxiety. You become vulnerable of loosing it. You become vulnerable to loss.

            Think about what that means. Really think about it. See, people may not fight for gain but they will fight to avoid loss.

            Love is so emotionally charged; give your heart to anyone, to anything, and you are vulnerable. When you love, you are no longer your own master, you are a captive to your own heart. Your fate, your emotional sanity is dependent on somebody else. Sure it’s easy to say “Nobody makes you happy, you make yourself happy.” That sure sounds good, but it isn’t true. You can say “Nobody can be pleased against their will…” That sure sounds good also, but it’s not true. Another person can be a stimulant. And depending on how you are stimulated, you will react.

            So, love anything, including a pet and it can hurt you. It can show you vulnerabilities you never knew existed in yourself. Love with a hyper intensity and it can make you do wrong or make you do right. You can’t underestimate the power of passionate feelings, of love.

            Now here’s the thing. Since there is no pain like the hurt love can bring (it brings a pain where no band aid can, and can be potentially life altering), people fear love. The very thing they seek and yearn for, they fear.

            If you understand this fear, then you’d understand why so many people don’t expose themselves fully. They’ll nibble at love, they hold back, and only offer crumbs.

            Or they’ll mitigate the effort of love, instead of being consumed, they’ll dilute the effect; in activities, in affairs, in aggressive neglect.

            But what you might not be aware of, is how fighting is used to relieve the tension and blunt the power of love. To free oneself from the vulnerability. Often we are strongest when angry. Anger and love are not really compatible. They can be but not usually. Biologically it’s the same response, it affects the temperature, it arouses, it makes the heart beat, but only the perception and actions can be different.

            So we often use anger to combat our vulnerability. Since we are preconditioned to believe that after good comes bad, we prepare for bad usually after our most vulnerable moments, and often times we pre-empt it if it doesn’t come fast enough. We purposely do things to disengage ourselves. Fighting is an effective tool. Treating your other poorly after periods of closeness is an effective tool.

            Imagine love like filling a balloon with air. Too much air and that expansion ends in an explosion. A rupture. So we unconsciously deflate it slowly. We want love, but we want manageable love. And instead of allowing yourself to feel the bliss of being swept away, being lost in those butterfly feelings, and allowing to feel the blessing of its pangs and stings. We are scared by it and do whatever it takes to push it out of our lives.

            That’s why they say you can only love once. Or the first love is the purest. Because we have that innocence and not enough sense yet not to fight it off. So we feel those peaks and gut lurching valleys, and those long lasting hurts. It rather is a beautiful thing.

So to maintain what they believe is a perpetual high, they feel love, they deflate by warfare, then work to fall in love again by make up.

            Sadly I don’t think the majority can feel love, either they felt little love so much that they built up an immunity or they simply never felt it because they refuse to be vulnerable.

            Also if you look closely, love always has a strange dynamic. No two people love equally, it’s a crock. One person will always love more. The relationship will always mean more to one of you.

            Imagine asking yourself and making a decision, who will love who? Either you are going to love that person or they are going to love you. Would you rather be in love, or have that person in love with you? It’s rare you’ll find an equal love.

            Strangely a lot of people would rather be loved, because it gives one a better sense of control. It gives you more freedom. It allows you to get away with more. But a lot of times it backfires, a subtle shift takes place and you fall in love. Remember passion and pleasing acts are stimulants, you respond to it, it can’t be helped in a lot of cases.

            However, for those who never give their heart, it can’t last anyway. Sure it can be convenient, but when you assume a false role, you feel unsatisfied and bored, and begin to yearn for love that you’ll most likely find outside the relationship. It has to happen- it usually does.

            Now I always asked, why six months? How come the majority of relationships don’t go the distance and have 6 months lives? I guess it takes that long before you learn about the person, for the spell to fade and for you to discover you don’t like what you see. Don’t forget, you can’t really love at first sight. Humans are complicated. You may love, but you can’t really know if you are more compatible and in harmony.

            Think about this. It’s like the question of trust. Sure you can trust. But with what? Do I trust with my life? Do I trust with my money? Do I trust with my secrets? Do I trust you with a sexy rival? Do I trust the person will stay in love, honor and cherish, and do nothing to hurt and disappoint?

            The trust issue is by degrees.

            And so is love. Yes, a person can love, but how much? How much? How far will they go? How will they continue to demonstrate their love?

So in six months fro most people the well runs dry. Those ‘I love you’s’ become hollow words, a cover up of lack of things to talk about. You told your best stories. They know your friends, problems, wishes, fears. So what next? Do you spend your time asking about how their day went, which varies so little, in an attempt at a boring conversation? After six months, both of you are won and there’s no seduction, even the sex can become mundane. You stop dating and instead of going out, you come over and stay in. And often, to escape from the boredom of each other, you escape into T.V., or other people, because the conversations are no longer stimulating. Instead of spending 4-5 hours on the phone, you can’t spend 5 minutes with each other before running out of things to say.

            When you love somebody, when they are compatible, you can talk to each other forever. You remake yourself constantly so that you’ll have something new to share. You both continue to grow, and develop with each other or you’ll outgrow each other, just as you do music, clothes, jobs, friends and mindsets.

            Which brings me back to the next point. Direction, Direction, Direction. In six months you usually know where they are in life and where they are going. And sometimes their journey does not include you or perhaps it is not a direction that is compatible with your own goals. And as I say, I don’t care how much you love each other, if you are not working towards the same goals or believe in the same goals, it’s not a match. And the sacrifices and contortions you make will not bring relief or pleasure, because you are moving too far away from where you want to go.

            In life there is no finish line. When you run out of goals, when you run out of things to say, your relationship is dead. And your fights will be from rebellion out of a relationship that is no longer growing.

            See only fairytales, and commercials, have these happy endings. Boy gets girl, girl gets boy, curtains closes. Or the couple sign the papers for their new house, curtain close. The funny thing is, life goes on. There is an after. What happens as the stress begins of paying that mortgage?

            There is always that questions of what’s next? By is born- what next? You slept with each other- what’s next? You move in- what’s next? There should be a natural progression of what’s next. When you ask that question and you hear crickets? When nobody knows? The relationship hit a wall, it’s dying or is dead. It can only rot from that point.

            For you, I’ll always grow, I’ll always teach and I’ll always share with you. I can actually talk to you forever. I always loved the way we communicated. I loved reading to you. I love sharing my thoughts, sharing my body. Being around us. That other stuff wasn’t the true us. You are beautiful to me. I want to take care of you. I do belong to you. You are wonderful. You are my Loida. And I will work hard not just to win you back, but to please you. You add a dimension to my life and I know I can add to yours.

                                              

                                                           Your Lancelot

 

 

 

  *         *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *

 

 

           

            I use a macroeconomic view to investing. Most people use charts and graphs, to show what the stock or bond or commodity has been doing. They look for chart patterns and hope they repeat. The problem with this approach is that the charts show the past and predict the present, but say nothing about the future.

            A second problem is that traders are not trading companies or resources but the perception of other traders. So the objective is where will traders send prices. Behavior can be predicted. When a lot of people, when a few people with big money, say the market should go this way or that way, that’s where the price will go. If it’s wrong, then as they recognize they are wrong, the price will go the other way.

            When I construct models to trade, I first document tendencies. Like if I was trying to figure out if next years DOW will gain a lot or loose a lot. I might start by understanding it’s an election year. Next I’ll do research and find out how the market does during an election year, and whether it makes a difference when a Rep. or Dem. Is trying to win the White House.

            Next I’ll ask if interest rates are at a certain level and inflation is at a certain level, how does the market respond, and what industries tend to do poorly or well under that economic setting. How does each government respond and how do commodities adjust. And so on and so on. If I want to get accurate measures, such as if the S&P 500 index falls by 10%, there is a 15% rise in bonds, a 5% fall in currency and 25% increase in the price of gold, then I’ll use math and calculate the correlations.

            Once you have a historical tendency, then you can accurately calculate where prices should go and what could change so that it is no longer valid. With this information you can get into position, before the public understands what’s going on.

            Imaging running a department store. You can anticipate next year’s swim wear styles and buy them in the winter, and sell them in the summer.

            Like right now oil is at 95 dollars a barrel (buying 1 contract gives you control over 1000 barrels, so each dollar move is 1000 dollars). Now the question is what influences the price of oil? There are 4 factors. Political stability in the Middle East, OPEC pumping out more oil, driving season which slows in winter, and the dollar. The dollar is the biggest influence. The British pound is twice expensive than the dollar. So if you want to buy oil in Britain or simply use their money, the price of a barrel of oil would be 47 dollars.

            So by watching the dollar rise in value, the price of oil becomes cheaper. And if the value of the dollar falls, then oil becomes more expensive.

Now airlines are dependant an oil. So if the dollar rises in value, the price of oil will fall, it becomes cheaper for airlines to buy, they save money, they lower their ticket prices, more people will fly and the stock will rise.

So I can chain together elements and predict what other industries will do. And when you’re good, you can piece together more pieces of the puzzle. By watching gold you can predict the dollar, by watching silver you can predict gold, etc.

You can discover these tendencies by going back over prices as far back as 1820. I have price charts of cotton going back to 1790.

I think I explained to you homeostatic function. Think about your body. Your ideal temperature is 98.6°. If your body gets too hot, there’s a response to cool things off. If your body gets too cold, again there will be a response: shivering.

In most commodities there are trigger points. Once that point is reached, there is always a market response.

Example: The dollar falls, everything in the US becomes cheaper or foreign money becomes stronger. So money rushes into this country and lifts stock prices. Bond prices fall which lifts interest rates to slow things. High interest rates make the dollar become stronger, which makes foreign investment leave the US, which sinks our stock market and causes bond prices to rise, which lowers interest rates.

It’s easy to figure out trigger points, such as how low does the dollar have to fall to set this in motion. Next by examining such as interest rates you can determine industries that are punished or who benefit. Retail companies like department stores take off when interest rates are dropping below 2%. But health related companies do bad as well as telecommunications.

Once you know that retail companies will do well, and then you can start searching for which company will show the best gains. Will it be an industry leader, or a company that has been doing badly but shows improvement?

So a macroeconomic view becomes a microeconomic view.

Then once you assess the likelihood of the move, you use daily price movement for timing. When to get into a trade.

And lastly a concept called money management, controlling how much you loose when you loose. And techniques to add to your investment and magnify your bet using a concept called leverage. It’s a process of using credit or using your profits to buy more.

I’m in talks now with a guy named Rob. He’s very eager. I’m just settling the trust issues. There are several plays that should be made before year’s out. Arresting the dollar, Orange Juice, wheat collapse, oil decline, gold decline. These moves can be huge, substantial.

 

                                  

                                                Your Lancelot.

                                                           Hope to hear from you soon.

 

 

 

 

# 7

 

 

            My Loida, my sparkle,

 

            You were always so warm, so loving. So generous. Sure I remember jus as you do. But we were best friends, those mornings, walking on the beach at dawn, watching the sunrise, how the world was ours. We didn’t even have to talk. There was so much unspoken between us, knowing. We were so in tune. You were my girl, my world, and I was your guy. You’re supposed to love him.

            I want to take you out. I want to show you everything. I owe you the rest of my life and I’m prepared to dedicate it in making you happy. Happier.

            There is always a chance for a new beginning. You have to believe that in your heart. Things can always be turned around.

            I would love to provide for you. To send you to New York and check you into a suite in the Waldorf Astoria. Send a limo that is at your disposal and charge cards so you can shop on 5th Avenue. To buy the perfect dress.

            Then I’ll meet you that night at Tavern on the Green. It’s a restaurant with thousands, rather millions of blue X-Mas lights in the trees; it’s like a wonderland on Central Park lake. I’d be in a tux and we’d drink and get giddy, then I could beg you for forgiveness as we ride in a horse drawn carriage in the park. I could hold your hand. The carriages have candle lanterns and it would be beautiful to see candlelight sparkle in your eyes.

            The next morning we can don roller blades and go back to the park to 72nd where people park their cars and blast music, and people show up with boom boxes, and it’s like a make shift disco, people are fun and alive, and doing synchronized dances, and ballet and roller disco. Don’t worry, I show you how to skate. After we could get a rowboat, and have a picnic while feeding the swans.

            We could spend that night club hopping. We could hop in a taxi and club hop all night, from red rope to red rope. We could cage dance over the dance floor, twirl glow sticks, and dance until we’re all hot and sweaty. And we could end the night sitting on a bench on the Brooklyn Bridge, where we’d have the best view of one of the greatest city skylines and cityscapes.

            Now, if you want to see something weird and mind-blowing, we can accommodate you there also. This is a very liberal and wild city. Oh yeah, plenty of places.

            We could spend the next morning test driving classic cars or going to various museums. The have the Museum Of Natural History- it’s colossal. It has many many floors. They have the world of dinosaurs, with life sized skeletons of all dinosaurs. You got sections of wildlife in life scenes. Like wolves attacking a grizzly, wolverines and exotic birds like condors. Then there is a section for sea life, king crabs, monstrous squids, all manner of sharks & eels. Even a life size blue whale. There is the insect world and all cultures, from Samari to Rosetta stone, from asteroids to the hall of gems. You get the idea.

            There is also the MOMA, which is the US premiere museum of art. You can see work of Renoir to Degas to Rembrandt. Or if that’s not your speed, then I’d take you to the museum of broadcasting. We can sit and watch any program of any T.V. show in the history of T.V. Or we can get off on any commercial.

            Or we can go to Chinatown, and go to the park where hundreds of people assemble three times a day doing Tai Chi. You’d love Chinatown. Every street sign is written in Chinese. The phone booths have those Chinese wings on them. Even some of the buildings are in Chinese design. The movie theatres, newsstands, taxi drivers, all Chinese. I’ll take you. Show you around.

            Next door to Chinatown is Little Italy, where the Mafioso’s roam free in 3,000 dollar suits hanging out in bars and restaurants. A very storied history.

            I’d also love to take you to FAO Schwartz, the greatest toy store ever. Young & old go there to play. They have a Barbie world, every doll ever constructed. They have a largo world. You can play videogames, or play with train sets, or keyboards you step on, you can put a kid rock tape in a talking Elmo. Or look at stuffed toy animals like a giraffe that cost 17,000 dollars. Toys from all over the world. It make you giddy and like a kid again.

            Oh there is so much I wish for you to discover. Like you must go to a movie on the duce. Three blocks away when blockbusters come out. It cost 20 dollars. But on the duce you can see exactly the same movie, actually you can watch a triple feature of current movies, but the cost is 3 dollar, and you can stay all day, you can live in there. Many people do. When you enter you’ll see people living in there. The man who sells you a ticket might mumble about seeing demons and witches. The floors are sticky, the air is foggy with drugs, the movie is out of focus, people are throwing bottles at the screen, people are singing or fighting and heckling the films; you might see a woman giving birth; you got to bring a plastic bag if you want to sit down. There’s a chance you can slip on a human turd or vomit. And not only are there rats but cats walking around. People are actually go to movies and bring their pet.

            I would also love to take you shopping. We could walk around like lazy devils and go into Fendi, Escada, Ann Taylor, Bulgari, Bergdorf Goodman,  Bloomingdales, Saks, Lord & Taylor, Chanel, Tiffany, Cartier.

            I can always take you by train to Coney Island. It’s an amusement park (kind of) on the beach. We could ride the Cyclone roller coaster until we are sick, or we can go into the haunted house and pretend to be scared, chanting spookarama… spook-a-rama!

            I would recommend sleeping on the beach, but that’s scary. We could get mugged or a body bag might wash ashore.

            So much to do. Shakespeare in the park, or we can go to Washington Square and watch acrobats, who flip over people, and those Cirque Du Soleil  people, and we can see comedians in the park who are so funny. They draw huge crowds, and it’s like the ultimate Def Comedy jam. They don’t stop until you fall down laughing, begging for them to stop. Trust me, when they pass around a bag for collections, you’ll be glad to give them 3 to 5 dollars. There’s a guy named Charles and a second guy named Albert Orange- these two guys are perhaps the funniest two people on the planet; they draw a new crowd, about 150 strong each, every ½ an hour. In the same park you can listen to live concerts or just bring bongos and jam along.

            They had something on the beach called the full moon rhythm party. People would meet on the beach at midnight every full moon and set up tiki torches and people bring bongos and they jam. People dance, girls are dressed in saris or neo hippy stuff- and people are making out. It’s kind of tribal. Well this gravitated out of New York. It’s electrifying stuff. Very free and giving.

            We could go to a foreign film festival. These are fantastic. Or we could just sit on the side walk in the village. On the east side there are all these skinheads, neo punk and gothic witches, and we can just sit and gawk. Or we could be active participants, and go shop in stores like Trash and Cheap Jacks, buy all this old vintage wear. You could wear a corset and thigh high f.me boots.

            There was a time when I was punk rock. I would wear eyeliner, had spiky blue hair and wore black satin tuxedo with tails with a silver chain, it would float like a cape when I walked. I wore no shirt, but a bow tie like a Chippendale stripper, and my pants were all deconstructed with Russian slogans, and I wore a pair of combat boots. You could walk around dressed like that and tourist would follow you and take your picture.

            It’s all there. They have fashion avenues where all the design studios are, and there’s always a fashion going on. The lights go out, the music starts blasting, those models strut out , those camera flashes start exploding and the crowd goes crazy. It’s so intense your heart begins to pound from the drama, glamour and euphoria… you can’t help it. Loida, you’d love it. I just know you would.

            Even things that don’t seem like fun are so crazy. Like bowling. You might join  in a group that’s playing a type of spin-the-bottle but by bowling. Or billiards… I’ll teach you. I’m pretty good . Not a pro of course.

            Or we could get an audition magazine and just go on calls for just the fun of it. We might even land an extra on a T.V. show or commercial or movie. This can just be for fun. And if you like T.V. we could go sit in the audience of a sitcom or talk show or soap opera. There’s always something going at NBC studios, or ABC or CBS, even if it’s just a game show.

            And you know that saying how a little birdie told you, this is true in New York. You can always find out where’s the party. Manhattan has 25 million people. Somebody is always celebrating something. I could make a single phone call and get the location of six happening parties or where so & so celebrity will be. Since I’m down with Baird Jones who rules the night. I’m pretty good at decoding newspapers where there’s always hidden party information. It’s like doing a Da Vinci code puzzle.

            But many times you can be walking around and somebody will tell you where the party is. There were a number of times the dude and I came out of a China club to cool off. We were sitting on a bench on the middle of Broadway with traffic streaming by, and a group of people tell us about a penthouse party in a hotel a few blocks away, or a house party and we go crash and have a blast.

            Or I’ll take you to see bars like Coyote Ugly and Nightbirds, which are very real and always ON! Or we can go to an outlaw party. Somewhere in the city, at a secret location, at midnight 1000 people are going to descend on that place and party until it’s broken up. Like perhaps a McDonalds, and McDonalds isn’t notified. It’s a parade of but cracks and areolas. People dancing on tables, dominatrixes yelling for hamburgers, music blasting, alcohol passed around, homeless man as the doorman and crazed happening in every corner. Twins who are joined break dancing, go go boys and pixie girls, people streaking. And the Pantheon of painfully hip.

            And so many restaurants, every imaginable culture upon earth, and themed cuisines. Like restaurants where everything is plunged in darkness. You can’t see, only smell and taste your food. Or restaurants in buildings so high up, you are above the city in the clouds- literally.

            It’s too bad they don’t do helicopter tours above the city anymore. I would love to take you. And we’d get a second place in New York. I could trade during the day and could plan our nights. And we would just be us. Just us. I’d put nobody before you. Help me soften your heart. Please. You know I’d do anything for you. You know that. I belong to you. You know that.

 

                                                                       Your Lancelot

 

 

 

# 6

 

 

            My Loida, my angel,

 

            Did you know there are islands around New Zealand where parrots cannot fly, where many of the birds hop around? The food is close to the ground, and there are no predators. Perhaps there really is a survival of the fittest at work. Think about a process of natural selection that has been documented. In Britain the pepper moth went from the edge of extinction back to abundance. Think about what intelligence had to take place; the awareness. The peppered moth lived on silver birch trees, but in the factory district the pollution and soot turned the silver trees black. And birds began picking off the visible moths. Suddenly the caterpillars responded by mating only with their darker relatives, and soon all dark colored moths had the advantage. The peppered silver moth went to the brink of extinction. The caterpillars would not mate with others who would become lighter. Then with clean air bills, pollution was cut, the trees turned silver again and the process reversed. It’s a marvellous example of survival of the fittest. Perhaps this also shapes the perception in human beauty. Who has the winning advantage, it’s based on culture at the time.

            Oh this concept can be applied to so many things. Think about the ghetto problem. Obvious there aren’t enough jobs to supply the swelling ranks of impoverished. No jobs mean low revenues and inability of the city to tax, so without tax revenue they can’t keep the environment clean. No tax revenues means they can only afford to hire incompetent teachers, and can’t combat growing crime. The students in school can’t see how social studies and calculus translates into their environment. There are no factories and major corporations in the area that require those skills, and shape the local schools. So kids say “Why do I need a+b=c  if I’m mopping Tacobell’s bathroom, or bagging groceries or as a sales clerk in the dress shop? There is no variety and no block buster pay check.”

They see criminals as heroes. It’s exiting, they have power and supply needs, they command respect and fear. So they gravitate to those fields. Where they see advantage. The women see 50 cents, or NFL stars or basketball stars, or drug boys, and they consciously select those types as the new fathers. Tall women select even taller men to produce taller sons who will be future basketball stars. They don’t see the advantage of being doctors. They only see escape through crime, sports or music as socially acceptable ways. It’s a question of expectation. The media reinforces these conditions, and more and more kids drop out to be these things or head in those directions using schools.

            Another example of Social Darwinism taken to the max is Nazi Germany. Race laws. The super race was blond with blue eyes. A protected species. Blond girls were harvested. They had laws regarding heredity and pure blood intermingling. They exterminated the ill, the decadent and the inferior, regardless of future contribution, age and sex. Your blood could indicate what job you could hold, who you could date, and what treatment to expect. Imagine a Jewish woman sleeping with pure blood Germans to dilute her own blood, ashamed of who she was.

            Social Darwinism is an evil. A group seeks advantage or lords advantage over others. The Muslims, the gays, the illegal aliens. Who are we to decide anything for groups?

            You know, we should travel to see all the thrones of heaven on earth. Egypt, Syria, Greece, China, Jerusalem, Petra, Mesopotamia, Rome, Nineveh. In the end, more than the holy land we all search for heaven on earth and beyond.

            You know, Dante gives us a good description of hell, of eternal damnation and torment. But there are few images of heaven. Sure there is music and pearly gates, but these are complex images that can’t stir us more than pain & suffering. You can say Milton’s Paradise Lost is a pretty image of heaven before the epic rebellion, but even his account of Eden, you come to realize God created man out of boredom. All that beauty in creation wasn’t enough. Then he say man was bored and created Eve as his companion and help mate. And again, if beauty, love and joy was enough, how could they be tempted and violate the first commandment of thou shall not know, and plunge the species into struggle and the loss of heaven on earth?

            Another account is like Valhalla or an Avalon. In the Echtrai, a woman emerges from out of nowhere and offers the hero a journey to a land of yearning, within the magical mist, to show him the marvels of a marvellous land. A place without grief, without death, without old age, streams & skies of every color, or music, pleasant company, without struggle, of happiness and endless provisions. He couldn’t stay for 300 years and returned to struggle. Even Ulysses was tempted by the siren to stay in her land of endless beauty and after a time, he turned it down.

            Why does this happen? What causes us to thumb our nose at perfection? Paris Hilton, Britney or Lindsay, they are so bored. Each of us find ways to destroy our relationships. We fight so hard to establish them and we pull them apart with the same hands moments later. We love songs and later after too much exposure get sick of them. We buy homes and dream of other homes in other locations. You love your diamond earring but not enough to wear it every day. This is not the same as diamond rings which women wear as a symbol of unavailability.

            Yes, I feel we are just made this way. Due to how we are made, religion can take hold of us. Think about this. Imagine a cat. Sitting in a living room, suddenly a ball of yarn comes rolling by. The cat is going to jump up and chase it. That’s its nature. Now imagine yourself, sitting in a living room and a big ball of yarn comes rolling by- do you get up and chase it? No. You’re going to look around to find out where it came from. This is our nature. To ask questions. To never stop asking. That’s our curiosity. To know.

            When you think about life, it’s pretty amazing. Here you are. Alive. But you are aware you on a planet that is flying in space. You are flying in space. And when you consider the vastness of space, you got to realize you are an invisible dot on an invisible dot. And can you also grasp that you are also stardust? We are stardust.

            So of course we are going to question is there life out there? Is there life after death? What is the meaning of life? So we search for meaning. And religion solves part of that craving for our origin (we have a reverse engineering problem. Take an ice cube, set it out and watch it melt. Can you predict the shape of the puddle…Nope. [Can’t solve the future]. Now look at the shape of a second puddle… can you predict the contours of the ice that produced it? Nope. You can’t reconstruct backwards either.) But also religion gives us a code of how to behave.

            This code of behavior is also a problem. Because moral codes are not for all the time, they must be placed in historical context. If you were to advocate slavery today, you’d be a fool, but not true in ancient times, in light of modern times it’s wrong. But it was acceptable and preferable in ancient times. Many things, like our pollution, might prove wrong in modern times.

            And you got to remember how the bible was used as a tool. In medieval times, the dark ages, when cathedrals were built, and the priest class had power and they steam rolled across the world, stamping out enlightenment and competing religion with the sword. And they oppressed the people, suppressed learning and salvation was obtained through the priest. Then Martin Luther stood up at the diet of the worms and screamed “Through the scriptures alone”. He basically said man was his own priest, his own church.

            And you look at times now. These huge congregations, so much money flowing in. Priest with 5 homes, jets and mansions. Preaching the gospel. How ridiculous. Even in black churches, the pastor has gold rim glasses and alligator shoes. They claim to follow a lord who walked barefooted! Who said to give all they had to the poor and pick up the cross and follow me. See what I don’t like about religion is that it creates a cloak to hide in. This constant communication with heaven, constant appeal to heaven, constant expectation of heaven’s help, while at the same time ignoring humanity, of all things suffering and needing. See when you do nothing, and leave another’s plight in heavens hands, that’s just selfishness disguised. You got to remember, the church does not pay taxes, and it has the power to tax, it’s called tithing. Is that the right word? Well they take 10% of everybody’s salary. Think about this. A government is strong because of its tax revenue; it can then buy schools, have social services, create a military and thousands of other programs that are free. Well, religion could compete and assume social services. But in reality, go to a church at midnight; the doors are locked. Why? Isn’t it a sanctuary?. Couldn’t it be used to house and feed the homeless & lost? But that would mean less money for their radio services. Their counterfeit lip services as they molest their choirboys, and sleep with the ladies of the congregation. Hell, Jesus didn’t have a wife. Nuns give up physical pleasure and take the vows of poverty, live in convents where they pray all day for the souls of all men. Buddhist monks choose poverty, and so do many Muslim.

Just as I said, love isn’t in words but actions. When the Nazi invaded Rome, the Pope closed the Vatican to fleeing Jews. It didn’t want to get involved. Have you noticed, when disaster strikes it’s not the church that rushes to the aid, it’s the Red Cross. They give. They are the real deal. They go into combat zones and help all, the enemies, the allies, us and all victims.

            Yet you got churches screaming about abortion & gay marriage as a sin. They should be screaming about how prisoners of war are tortured, how elderly are abused in homes, or how Teri Shrivo was killed. How people die from diseases because they can’t afford health care.  How insurance companies cheat millions when their homes & lives are destroyed. How people freeze to death because they don’t have clothes, or go hungry because they don’t have food. What do you say “God takes care of the birds, you’ll have better in the next life and here’s the bible.” While they go relay in their yacht.

            They say history has been shaped by fanatics than by entire orders of the system. You can’t say a single person can’t make a difference. Gandhi,  Martin Luther King, Jesus, Hitler. I always shiver when you hear about martyr. Dying for love, others or causes like the greater good. But if you understand love, and have ever allowed yourself to be consumed with it, then you could honestly say I would die for you. In the end isn’t love the goal for which we all work. Even if it’s just to feel useful.

            Look at Van Gogh. I’m not sure if you know the Metropolitan Museum of Art. But he is the leader of the Impressionist movement. It’s like he makes soft images using dots of colored paint. Well he fell in love with a hooker and cut off his ear and wrapped it in silk and gave it to her. He sadly killed himself later.

But he worked so hard and never sold but a single painting, and not a single article was written about him. He didn’t care, he just worked for her, giving all of himself for art, never asking for anything. And he had a brother who gave him money his whole life long, so he might paint. And he died 6 months later out of sorrow, after learning how and why his brother killed himself.

            You can understand why he was immortalized. He did not paint out of vanity, but to please a girl. And you get this rarely. Look at the Coral Castle in Miami; he spent 30 years constructing that impossible masterpiece. I think to honor his dead wife.

            And what about the Taj Mahal. Shah Jahan, the emperor of India, was grief-stricken when his wife died. So he created a palace of gold and gems for the woman he so much loved. They are both buried in that palace. But it is always a symbol and testimonial of love. I want to take you there. I want to take you everywhere. I would love you to something equally great. That’s why I spent years mastering the markets, to make as much as I can to spend it all on you.

            I remember the first time we were together, after so long, so much build up. After I saw that look  on your face, how you were energized. You had that look of vainglorious triumph. You couldn’t hide it. I never have seen anybody with that look on her face. Usually I think girls hide it and share it after, with friends as you recount. It’s that look where your friends can always pick up, because you’re smiling at nothing. And I know how it felt to me. You really do feel good. Too good. It was so good, it was mind staggering. I guess you knew that You really put the hooks in me. You knew that. Opened that door to my jealousy. I couldn’t handle it.

 

            Anyway, let’s discuss the market.

 

            I want you to understand a boom and bust cycle. Picture a mountain. Prices rise to a peak, then decline. Up one side of the mountain and down the other.

            Most industries show this pattern. There is a time to invest. If you understand this cycle, it can keep you from investing in shopping malls in declining area and ghost towns.

            There are many factors that produces this pattern, competition (imagine 30 sharks in a pool with 100 fish, after the fish are eaten the sharks start to die until very few are left), also debt, incompetence, but also product cycles and innovation that occurs elsewhere.

            While most companies strive to adapt, most fail to be innovative. Traders must be aware of innovation elsewhere because companies never see it coming.

            Think about the music industry and think about the money you could of made if you invested in the idea first and the money would of lost as the product became obsolete.

 

a) records                     b) 8-track tapes                        c) cassette tapes                      d) walkman

e) CD’s                         f) DVD / VHS                            g) recordable CD’s                    h) iPod / MP3

i) downloadable music               j) music downloads on your phones       

 

Products make money and the stocks rise. Then products loose demand, become obsolete

stocks fall. If you look at some true examples, you’ll see the following. The NASDAQ is a stock exchange that has mostly medical, biotech and technology companies.

            In 1998 the NASDAQ index was at 1500.

            In 2000 the NASDAQ index was at 4500.

Two years of sustained rising prices.

            In 2000 the NASDAQ index was at 4500.

            In mid 2002 The NASDAQ index was at 1000.

Two wealth destroying years of falling prices.

            This is a boom and bust cycle. It rises and crashes. Look at the real estate cycle.

 

            Step 1: When interest rates are low and businesses are doing well, people borrow money or use their surplus to buy homes, pay rent and buy land.

            Step 2: Landowners and rent seeking landlords, product and service providers, all swell the surplus of money and raise their prices and rents.

            Step 3: Inflation of prices become wide spread. Businesses start struggling to pay rent, they spend more and more to pace with rising prices. .

            Step 4: The government grows alarmed, raises interest rates to cool off borrowing and to check inflation.

            Step 5: More businesses struggle, many default on loans, many cease to exist.

            Step 6: Land prices and rents decline, because landlords see more and more vacancies, as businesses can no longer afford high prices.

            Step 7: An oversupply of poverty is now on the market. A glut of half finished developments  projects that we are now complete with the originated during the good

                       times.

            Step 8: So many places, so few tenets. Landlords and developers go bankrupt. Prices crash. Defaults wreck banks, and loan tightening slows economic growth.

            Step 9: The government grows alarmed, interest rates are lowered, tax benefits are offered, borrowing begins, and business cycles improve. Cycle repeats.

 

            This is the classical boom & bust pattern. It is going on right now. We are in stage 8. You know I wrote this a few years ago, after going back through history.

            By understanding this cycle, you can actually understand cycles in things like cement and lumber. In stage 1-3, lumber prices explode upwards. They slow then stall in stage 4-6, and crash in 7-8 and improve again in step 9 as the cycle begins.

            In the commodities game, lumber prices are at a 15 year low. The government just started to cut rates, and lumber prices have stabilized and as rates begin to come down, lumber will begin to rise again.

            Her is the deal. A lumber contract is less than 700 dollars. It gives you control of 112,000 board feet (about 22 miles of lumber), a rise in just a few dollars adds up to a lot of money. And since it’s at the bottom, it has an extremely large way to advance. You could ride this move into a fortune.

 

                                                                                 

                                                                                  Your Lancelot

 

 

 

#5

 

 

            My Loida,

           

I don’t really know what I’m feeling today. You know, some days are better than others. Smiles sometimes don’t last, but the good thing is frowns don’t last either. And to keep everything in perspective while a situation can always be better, it can always get a hell of a lot worst also. So ok is ok.

            I wish I could write to you directly. I would write you 5,000 letters.

 

            These hedge fund guys are becoming the new kings of the earth. Usually the pay structure of managing accounts they charge over 20% of all gains. They are getting half billion paychecks. And I’m so mad because I can stand toe to toe with them.

            I wish we could run away together. I would take much better care of you.

            I am a bit worried about the dollar. I see this colossal trade, but whom can I talk to, who would understand. The dollar is a variable in all US investments. Say IBM raises from 90 to 100 dollars a share. A ten-dollar profit, right? Not necessarily. If the dollar fell 11% then you’d have a 1-dollar negative return. Perhaps than 10 dollar rise was simply keeping pace with inflation and failing.

Anyway, the dollar is tanking. Oil is at 95 dollars a barrel (actually 46 dollars if you measured it in British pounds whose money is twice as valuable), food cost is high. And to save banks, housing and consumer spending, the Fed is cutting rates. This is like injecting the arm with dope. It feels good now but it will have a bad result. China is dumping dollars, so if you combine that with interest cuts you are setting the stage for hyperinflation… Very very bad. Trust me, it’s bad. Our Fed Chairman is university bred, not market bred, and he’s going to fuck up economically with his perfect pattern textbooks. Life is way to slippery to be captured in a textbook. So I think the Central Bank of the G7 will have to act in concert and defend the dollar. So to play, you must buy dollars, and sell Yen, Pound and Euro.

There was this song by Alphaville “Forever young”.

He sings “Forever young…I want to be…forever young…Do you want to live forever, forever, whenever…”

I just heard this song on the radio. I love that song. It reminds me of my friend named Colin. We were in high school and I was in awe when I found out he could drive. We drove to my friend’s house on Roosevelt Island to visit a friend who lived in a beautiful split-level condo. I would still love to live there. We were singing the song in the car. A group of us. It was our anthem.

            Colin was a visionary before his time. He told us he read in a book, to find a profession that was scalable. I didn’t know what he meant then, but I do now. Imagine scalable equation of labor vs. income vs. increasing the amount of zeros. Let’s say you call a broker and sell 1 stock. Now let’s say you call a broker and sell 1 million stocks.

            You are calling the same place; it is the same exact call, almost same words and same amount of time. If you write a book or a love song, you don’t have to write 1 million copies, you can simply write one and it can be electronically duplicated 5,000 times or 1 million times. It takes the same effort. This is an example of a scalable profession.

            A dentist is not a scalable profession. Like a restaurant owner. He cannot get rich in a day, his income is limited by how many tables or chairs he can fill, and each meal or cleaning is on a singular basis. If you are working at McDonalds or an office, you are subject to budget constraints, competition and periodic pay increases, but you have little control over your income and you can’t expect blockbuster payouts.

            In the scalable dynamic it’s like a band, crumbs from undiscovery, eating beans & soup. Then suddenly fortune and fame. In stock it’s like fishing, mild returns, poor set ups, then a homerun. The great thing in the markets is there’s always something, always a homerun, you only have to be savvy enough to find it.

            A few years ago, I woke up at 2 in the morning. There was a thunderstorm unlike any thunderstorm I ever experienced. The news said there were 21,000 lightning strikes. It went on for 90 minutes. It was so pretty. All I could say was wow; I wish you could have seen it.

            Another time it was after 4 o’clock in the afternoon. It just rained; I guess there was a mist still in the air as the sun came out, because the entire world was based in an orange glow. It was like you were looking through an orange filter. I guess light was bending around the moisture. Again I knew you’d appreciate it.

            Another time I really thought of you was a few years ago. The news reported the Aurora Borealis was extending from the North Pole, it was supposed to reach as far as Cuba. Solar winds, that shimmering blanket of color, greens, blues and reds, creeping across the sky in the dark. I watched from sundown to sunset. It was such a clear night, so many stars and the sky turned a light blue, it was weak, but you could see it. Another wow. I wish I could have been to Alaska. We should have been there.

            The world is so rich in sights and beauty. A friend of mine named Steve once gave to me a tape of songs. So beautiful. I don’t know the names of the songs or who sang them, but in one song it said

“Don’t just sit and dram and watch life on a stream… your life starts now, you don’t have to compete.”

            I’m not sure what the last part means, but I know what the first part means, and I have thought about it for a long long time.

            Do you want to hear something crushing? I don’t know if I ever told you this. One Christmas Eve I was hanging out with my friend Eric. There was this huge area in Midtown where there are a lot of homeless. On this particular dusk it was cold. All these homeless people assembled. A very interesting sight. The two limousines pulled up and this guy with a nice suit, his wife, their kids, maids and a few friends, got out and began handing out nice coats, blankets, bags, coffee, sandwiches and envelops with money.

            I never in my life saw such kindness, legitimate and practical. They weren’t repulsed, they hugged all these people. Touched them; spoke so kindly.  Cards with shelter info, clothes, even job info and mental health. It messed me up. I wanted to be these people. This wasn’t the church. But people.

            Once I went to a shelter and saw this young girl who came in who carried a large silver can, and she was talking to it. The can was really battered and dirty. She left the can on the floor and somebody touched it and she went off, she picked up her can, talked to it and went to a chair and cried. So I asked (stupid me) “What’s up with the can?” She said inside the can was her mother’s ashes. She told me her mother was a junkie and she was abandoned at birth in a bathroom, and she was adopted and sexually abused. All her entire life she wanted to find her mother. She quit school, ran away, lived around truck stops. And she saved up money to track down her mother, and didn’t have the heart to confront her. Then after years her mother was in a hospital dying of aids. She stayed with her mother until she died. She felt complete. That was all she ever wanted. She used all her money to have her mother cremated, and until she could afford an all gold urn, she kept her in a silver can. Her mother watched over her and would now live within her. Nothing could affect her at this point or ever again. She solved her own puzzle.

            Wouldn’t that be great to solve your personal puzzle? Usually this occurs at the end of life when you ask if there is anything at all you lack, miss or regret. And it comes down to personal puzzles. I doubt you will care that the sum of triangles is 180 degree. In the end so many things are unimportant. Like in the middle of a kiss you shouldn’t be thinking about your memory card or what gymnast won the gold.

            Ok speaking of atmospheric beauty. I read in the Enquirer about a cow or bull that was pulled up in a tornado and touched down through somebody’s roof, where it landed on its back on the bed, got up and looked at the guy who ran into the room. There was a Mexican standoff. Both staring, not moving. Then the bull put his head down and gorged the man. I guess he was pissed off at being tossed around a tornado. Even if the story is bogus, it’s kind of funny.

            Now I did see something funny that happened to my mom. As kids my mom would take us to Peekskill Ranch, which was fantastic. We went 3 times. There were three different housing sectors: Dodge City, Laramie and Carson City. We would always  stay in Dodge. It was over a game room, and disco. I was really young and one year I developed a crush on an older girl, and once a girl and her sister developed a crush on me and would literally chase me around. Anyway, Peekskill had basketball courts, it had indoor & outdoor pools, miniature golf, archery, canoeing, softball, and they’d have events like 3-legged races, or egg tosses where you stand really close, toss the egg to your partner, then take 3 steps black. Soon you got to catch an egg across a hugged distance, and if you don’t catch it right, it might explode. Even catching it right could make it explode. You play everything for prices. It’s great stuff- real family fun.

            Once I went on a hayride, the back of a huge truck filled with hay, about 14 of us. Well it was boring until we hit the highway when me & the two girls set it off- and it created a huge hay fight. We came back, most of the hay was gone. We were laughing and it created a great memory. Something so initially boring became a blast of fun. We made our own fun.

            Well, they had a corral. You could race about 75 horses in it. At night we’d have tournaments. You have a balloon on your back and it was basically last man standing. My friend Gene always did really good.

            But the main attraction was each day, 3 times a day, you’d go to the coral and order your horse. The rangers would bring it or they’d give you a horse at random, then usually by platform they’d help you mount. Once on, you walk the horses to water then you wait. Once everybody is established, you walk the horses up this hill deep into the woods. There might me 125 of us. Then the rangers divide you by trails, the slow trail which is miles and miles at walking pace, into valleys, across streams, meadows, woods and forest. It’s a 3 hour trek. Then you have the medium trail where most of the time you trot along. Then the fast rail- you fly, full gallop, jumping over lags, through the mud. You got to imagine, all ages. 11 year olds, flying past you, racing.

            Well, sometimes as you wait for all the riders to get established, the horses act up. They might rear up, or collapse and roll over to get you off, or bite other horses, or press you into other horses, or crap, or swat you with the tail. Well once this lady was pinned, a stallion mounted a mare while she was on the mare. She was sandwiched and we were like wow! As rangers rushed over.

            And once my mom got a horse named Psycho. It took her on the slow trail, then decided to go crazy. It ran towards overhanging branches to knock her off. My mom was so scared she fainted after peeing on herself right before she was thrown into the mud.

            I love these ranches. I want to take you once day. It would be a blast. Just taking you everywhere.

            Hey, where are 5 places you’d really love to explore? Hey, I got this guy named Rob, I expect to hear from him next Tuesday. He’s a college grad, finance major and physics. He may be coming in to do the trading. There’s an oil play, gold and currency play. As I work things out, I’ll let you know.

 

                                                                       Love ya.

                                                          

 Lancelot (your black knight)

 

 

 

 

# 4

 

 

            My Latina moonlight,

 

            I got this article about a European couple on Lake Aasee. An unlikely couple, but it shows how love can blossom anywhere.

            There is a black swan in love with a two-man swan shaped pedal boat. Petra is a love struck female swan that is happily following behind this big plastic boat and they are inseparable.

            As you know, swans are always in pairs and they mate for life. So she found her soul mate. As last winter approached, they wanted to take the boat out of the water and Petra carried on so much, honking and crying, that the government decided to finance their relocation to a zoo. During the relocation, she followed her swan boat along the canal linking the lake with the zoo pond. Whatever the swan wants she gets.

            They are local celebrities, as people come from all over the world to film this couple. Particular the Japanese, who follow behind this couple. Lots of wildlife experts introduced single black swan males hoping she’d loose interest, but nope, she only has eyes for her one and only.

            I think this story is precious.

 

            The scary part is if Cupid would do that to a duck, what do you think he’d do to us. Yes, this merely shows that even love unreturned has its rainbow.

            I was always under the opinion that it takes a big heart to love and forgive those who are hard to love, difficult to love. It’s easy to love the perfect, the beautiful, the pleasing. But I don’t believe in perfect people. And it takes some time to learn about people and develop that harmony. The blending of different selves. Sometimes we are our circumstances, but we are at the same time not our circumstances. We change as the situation changes. But you can never point at an individual and say this is the true you, no more than you can stick your hand in a river and say this is the truest part of a river. It is all river. All the time.

            When love brings you pleasure, that is love. When love brings you pain, disappointment and tears- that is love also. Sure I’m mature enough to know love isn’t merely feelings, since your feelings can change throughout the day, during breakfast. And as we both know, love isn’t words. Since you can declare love, make vows and still neglect their needs and treat them poorly. Love is actually how you behave. It’s what you demonstrate. It’s what you give, and what you’re willing to do and not do.

            But this is the pregnant question. It’s not about love at all, but how much. It’s not about trust, but with what? It’s not about sacrifice, but how far you’re willing to go. It’s not about depth of feelings, but how long it will last. Think about it. You may give your body, but are you willing to give your house?

            Like I read about prenuptial agreements. If you divorce she can’t get anything. I mean, how noble is that? That’s very classy. That poisons the bond at the start. If you are not willing to surrender anything and everything, than how much do you really love her or him, or each other? Is it love according to conditions? Love according to circumstances? I will love you as long as our circumstances don’t change? A person who does that should be smacked right out of the church. What then is the purpose of vows?

            To love, to honor and to cherish your mate in good times and in bad. This means when the storms come and they will come, so will the boredom, foul moods, possessiveness and jealousy, you are obligated to stick together.

            In sickness and in health, … well this means, if one of you is mangled in a car accident, you get sick, old and ugly, perhaps you grow warts, or smell, or loose your teeth and sag all over- you are obligated to stay together.

            For richer or for poorer, … well this means, if you are forced to eat dog food, or if you have a single slice of bread, you share it. You share each other’s poverty. You’re willing to walk hand in hand into the desert to suffer, and if you’re offered a new Eden, apart- you stay with whom you are obligated to.

            To forsake all others, … well, as you know, there is temptation everywhere. But your mate comes first. Your man or woman becomes family because they are part of your heart. You love a life that includes each other. O.k. he’s not family. He’s not blood. But think about it, a pet is not blood and you can love a pet. O.k., bad example- but an adopted child isn’t blood so should you love him/ her less? But to forsake all others simply means not loving with a divided heart.

            My heart for you wasn’t divided, and I know I also commanded all your love. We had an obligation, and we had direction. We were running so that we could stand still. In the end it was us. O.k. Back then I was not smart. I had the fantasy we could survive any of life’s challenges. People survive things well. But we could either live in gold beds in glass mansions or we could live on bread, potatoes and fast food. I was yours and you were mine.

            Check out this story and absorb the point. Since we talked about swans, look at this.

 

            The ugly duckling” is about a swan egg that’s hatched among duck eggs. When she hatches among her brothers and sisters she looks different. They think she is a very ugly duck. Soon she finds herself persecuted. Nobody wants to play with her, and her brothers and sisters make fun of her and say mean things. Her friends treat her so unfairly. She is shunned and dreams of leaving. Then one day even her mom flies at her and she leaves dejected.

This poor sad thing wanders to a lonely lake where she holds her head down and cries. One day a group of swans fly over her head and land on the lake and come closer.

            When they are nice to her, she begins to cry and pushes them away saying how she shouldn’t be loved since she is an ugly duckling.

            How they laugh, Loida. They explain to her she is not an ugly duck, she is not a duck at all, but a swan like themselves and destined to be the most beautiful bird on the lake, so elegant, superior and majestic. The very symbol of love.

            She begins to cry but this time from joy and gratitude.

 

            What is the moral of this story? Well it has been interpreted as a tale of hope like in Cinderella, or perhaps it’s about potential, or how those who are disadvantaged get the last laugh, and to be careful who you’re mean to.

            However, I have my own views. Sometimes your family doesn’t act like a family. Sometimes your friends don’t act like friends. And although life is a big puzzle, you will never feel peace, comfort and happiness until you find those you belong to.

            When you find them, you loose that sense of void, of something is missing. I mean I have had situations where I was with someone, in a place that was simply beautiful. And it made me so sad because I was not with the right person.

            Have you ever noticed somebody gives you the wrong gift? That is a sign how a person does not know you well. They simply don’t know what you would enjoy. You are not of the same mind. People who really belong to each other are similar. Your joys don’t bring them pain. Your music doesn’t drive them from the room. They share in the delights, and adopt your joys. You both grow in the same direction. You want the same things; you are working for the same things. It’s wanting to become something so that you’ll have more to give. It’s not out of lack of peace with oneself or loneliness.

            Here’s a test; in all things ask what’s next. You meet? What’s next? You have sex? What’s next? You get married? What’s next? Family? What’s next??? For some this is the end. Or for some they don’t like what they see- so there is no next. It begins to stagnate, and anything that stagnates dies. Still water blights. And this produces a rebellion. To other worlds, other arms. People want vibrancy and life, not a dead love, not a dead job, not a dead life. A shark must keep swimming or it sinks. A relationship that stops growing, that stops asking what’s next and has no part, dies. And I don’t care how much you love someone; there is also a practical aspect. Tire of pleasing and pleasuring each other, or let conversation run low, or loose that sense of direction, or ignore each others needs, stop learning or sharing what you learn- and your relationship is doomed.

            The truth is I delighted in your company. You were my best friend and I couldn’t keep away from you. You never refused a simple need. You kept me pleasured. Hey remember the dude? Well he’s a best friend, we can’t work together. I know how I am. You know how I am, but we’re wonderful friends if you can eliminate other aspects.

            There are certain things people are not good at. It’s hard to accept. It doesn’t mean we are failures, it just means I’m good in sports and not the cello. And you can’t swim the entire ocean no matter how much you’d like to. So why kick a turtle or oneself, because the turtle is a turtle and not a jaguar. I think time puts everything in perspective.

            But I’ll tell you a secret. The secret is not really a secret. It’s two things: persistence and finding out how. The world belongs to those who find out how. You’d have the perfect life; you’d live in mansions- if you knew how. You’d write that great American novel- if you knew how. You’d have the perfect job- if you knew how. Your love life would be perfect- if you knew how. That is the magic. That is solving the puzzle; it’s finding the way. It’s struggle to find out how. When man wanted to swim the ocean, he built subs and ships. He found a way. But it has to be important, worth struggling for, and the thing that keeps you keeping on is persistence.

            Well I’m going to break my neck to give you the means. After all, you once did for me. I’ll find the way.

 

            *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *

 

            Now if you want to learn some things, then have a seat if not then ignore this part.

 

I want to talk about bonds. Usually when you hear investment terms, you always hear stock and bonds. But sadly few people know what a bond is. The bond market is bigger than the stock market.

            When you go to a bank and try to get a loan, they check you out, they want to know what the money is for, but more important if you can pay the back. They want to know how much you make, and if you have a history of paying money back, and whether you have collateral, and if you can pay interest on what you owe.

            Well when you want to invest money to a company, you buy stock. When you want to lend money to a company or a government you do that in bonds. So when you want to play banker, you deal in bonds. A bond is an IOU.

            When you buy a bond, you are lending a company 1,000 dollar.

            And what you want to know is when you’ll be paid back your 1,000 dollars.

 

1)       A bond has a maturity, and that date tells you when you get paid.

 

Example: Merrill Lynch Inc.                    May 16th, 2016 (maturity)

 

This the date the bond matures.

            Now you loan money you also expect to receive interest. Well each year or twice a year, or four times a year, you receive interest on the bond you bought (money you lent). That interest rate is called a coupon.

 

            Example                                  coupon                                     maturity

 

At & t Inc.                                6.1                                           Sept. 15,2034

 

This means you get 6.1% on your investment and it’s due (what you lent on Sept. 15, 2034). Now if the interest payment is due annually, then you get 60 dollars every year until Sept. 2034. Then you get your 1000 dollars.

 

Last aspect of a bond (well last important aspect) is the price. You may see the following.

 

Example                                  coupon             maturity                        price

 

            Time Warner                            6.75                 April 5,2011                  103

Or

            JP Morgan Chase                     5.1                   Sept. 15, 2014              95.2

 

            In both examples it looks like the price of the bond is 103 dollars and 95 dollars. Well, in truth you’d have to ad a zero. So the price of Time Warner is $1,300, and JP Morgan Chase is $952.

But what does this mean; doesn’t a bond cost 1000 dollars? Not exactly, but that’s what you’ll get back when it matures. So it’s like you are buying 1,000 dollars for 1,030 dollars in Time Warner, and 1,000 dollars for 952 dollars in JP Morgan. Remember your profit comes from that interest rate you get as well as if the cost is less than 1000.

            O.k. Now each day, just like in stock, the price of bonds move. Example: one week JP Morgan might cost 700 dollars, and a week later it cost 1030 dollars. In this example, if you traded bonds, you’d make a 330 dollars profit per bond you own if you bought & sold it. (Not waiting for it to mature.)

            Also you could buy today Time Warner for $1,300, and sell it next week at $400, a loss of $570 per bond.

           

            So people are buying bonds just as they do stocks. But here is the thing. Bond traders as a rule are more knowledgeable than dumb money stock traders. Bond dealers are more powerful than stock traders and usually know what they are doing. When you buy bonds, you are putting a company in debt.

That interest rate they pay you is fixed in stone; it can change, so bonds are actually called fixed dept. Dealing in bonds is a safe investment, because bond people get paid first. If a company makes money, before it gives out money to stockholders, it must pay the bond people. (Their interest payment.) If it cannot, the bond people send the company onto bankruptcy court and force the company to liquidate itself in order to give the bond people back their money. Stock people usually get nothing. Stock people are usually surprised when their stocks loose their value or go to zero, not even knowing that bond people can liquidate their company. Stock people don’t even know bond people exist.

            So because bond people are like banks, they keep an eye on how much the company is making. When the company is in trouble, they are the first to know, and as they sell bonds that can precede a stock fall. So by knowing what bonds are doing, you can get a grasp on what stocks are doing.

            Also bonds are math and deeply influenced by interest rates. Let me explain. Keep the following principle in mind. Everybody wants the highest return on his or her investment. O.k. here we go. Let’s say you have 1,000 dollars. If you put it in a bank account you’ll get 3% or 30 dollars returned. If you buy a bond you might get 6% or a 60-dollar return. So because you get more money buying bonds, money will leave banks and find its way into the bond world since you get more.

            Now let’s say the banks don’t like that and the Federal Reserve Control Bank tells all banks to raise the interest rates to 10%. Then all the money will leave bonds that are paying only 6% and go into banks where they’ll get a higher return.

            So how can bonds compete? They have fixed rates of interest. They can’t raise their interest rates to 10% or more. So instead, they’ll make their bond cheaper to buy. They say instead of you paying 1000 dollars, only pay 500 dollars. So the bond drops in value. The bond is cheaper for you to buy, which is good, unless you originally bought the bond at 1000 dollars, then you could loose ½ your money overnight.

            So rising interest rates causes bond prices to fall.

            The converse is also true, falling interest rates cause bond prices to raise.

            Because if the fed cuts interest rates, then bonds don’t have to compete with banks, so they can charge more for their bonds. So bond prices rise. They want you to give them 1000 dollars or more, and they’ll give it back later.

            Lastly, there are 3 types of bonds:

1)    Mortgage (you are lending to homeowners)

2)       Treasuries (you are lending to cities and governments. The safest bonds because they can raise taxes or print money to pay you back).

3)       Corporate bonds (these are bonds to companies who need money to conduct their business).

 

 

Later I’ll teach you some strategies to make a killing.

 

                                                                                        Your Lancelot

 

 

 

# 3

 

 

Hello Spanish magician,

 

 

            I found some music lyrics. O.k. It’s not John Secada, that we used to listen to, but they are good songs. There were so many. Don’t you love how music transports you, not only can it addict you to music you didn’t initially like, but it can affect your moods, playing to your senses that can swell your heart, make you feel sorrow, even make you dance.

            I was such a big fan of Roxy Music and I would play this song all the time.

 

 

            I could show you, in a word… if I wanted to.     A window on a world…with a lovely view.

            From closed up inside, a single room…    With an open book aside. Like you read in school.

            It’s so easy… believe me.    When you need fun.     I do anything, to turn… you on.

                                               Anything to turn you on.

            Is it raining in New York on 5th Avenue?    And off Broadway, after dark, love the lights don’t you?

            I could walk you through the park… if you’re feeling blue or whatever.

            Spring, summer, whatever… winter through fall… I’ll do anything, to turn… you on.

            I could leave you, as you were, if I wanted to.    Then I wonder is it fair, now you’re on your own-

                                               Who cares about you?

            Except me. God help me. When things go wrong… I’ll do anything, to turn… you on.

            Must phone me, you know me.   When things go wrong… I’ll do anything to turn you on.

 

                                                                                                          - Roxy Music

                                                                                                                      To Turn You On

 

 

I love this song. I’d also play Gabrielle. Do you faintly remember “Second chance”?

 

 

I always thought that I knew it all… but I knew nothing.

Couldn’t see I was destined to fall before it was too late.

I wanted a second chance, but you won’t take me back… I’m full of regrets…

            If you asked me back, baby I’d say yes.

A second chance, but you won’t take me back… I’m full of regrets.

            If you asked me back, baby I’d say yes.

I paid the price ‘cos now you’re gone from my life, and I have nothing.

So caught in myself cared for no -one else now you’ve slipped away.

I wanted a second chance, but you won’t take me back… I’m full of regrets…

            If you asked me back, baby I’d say yes.

 

 

Oh there were so many songs. A lot of 80’s music. OMD, ABC, Spandau Ballet, B-52s, Gloria Estefan, Tears For Fears, The Cure, just so much… Do you ever listen to this stuff? I was also into Wilson Phillips and listened to it all the time.

 

 

If you never plan to come out of your shell, you’re never gonna get well.

I understand your reasons not to. And I’m afraid of it too… But can I even talk to you again?

Oh part of me wants to call you up, and talk to you like a friend.

And there’s a part of me that wants to shut you out and never see your face again.

            Chorus: How can we be enemies when we’re only flesh and blood?

                                   What does it take to make your heart bleed, tell me aren’t we enough?

                                   You can get through, there’s nothing stopping you from getting to us.

                                   No one can take a way the fact were only… flesh and blood.

            For years I’ve been following your case, it’s the only time I see your face.

            And we’ve learned to live without you.

            Who you don’t know is who you’re afraid of… And were afraid of you too.

            But will we ever talk to you again?

                         How can we be enemies when we’re only flesh and blood?

                                   What does it take to make your heart bleed, tell me aren’t we enough?

                                   You can get through, there’s nothing stopping you from getting to us.

                                    No one can take a way the fact were only… flesh and blood.

            I want to make you laugh, I want a chance to know you better.

            I want to hear you sing beside me now… flesh and blood.

I’m part of you… and I miss you. A song for you… for only you.

 

 

This is so incredibly beautiful, so heavenly.

 

Loida, I was so happy about you. O.k. I’m not good when stressed. But we were bound, like a marriage. I was the first person to make you sigh that way. To totally taste you. I totally knew you. And I remember a lot of dreams you made me dream. Magic dreams. My magician.

So have you flown away above some cloud to a mystical Shangri-la? You know for some people the time of miracles is over. They are old before their time. There are always new miracles.

Hey, check out the message behind this story. It speaks to me so deeply that I would like to share it with you. A few years ago I was given a book called “The Alchemist”.

 

A young shepherd boy wakes from a dream telling him his treasure will be found in Egypt. So he takes his sheep into town and sees a gypsy who interprets his dream. She tells him to go to Egypt and return to tell her what he finds. He then bumps into what seems like a king that tells him when a person attempts to follow his dream to his personal destiny how the universe conspires to help along the way.

He sells his sheep and boards a ship o Egypt. He cannot speak the language but finds a man who will translate for him. The man tells him he will arrange a camel ride into the desert and takes his money and vanishes. The young shepherd is so hurt, disappointed and angry. He no longer has sheep; he’s in a new country without money and can’t even understand the language. So he wanders around up a hill into a store that sells crystal glasses. He wants to ask for help but being shy browses around, and people so curious to look at this foreigner follow into the store and buy crystal glasses. The owner who hasn’t had customers in a long time, thinks this shepherd boy is good luck and begs hire him. The boy only planning to stay until he makes enough to return home, stays a few years and learns the language, and preparing a delicious foreign tea, he soon has people venturing from the bottom of the hill to drink his delicious tea in beautiful glasses. Soon he becomes dazzling wealthy and an accomplished businessman. After seeing someone who looks like that king, he continues to follow his destiny and arranges a caravan across the desert. Traveling across the desert, he meets an Englishman who seeks an alchemist who will show him how to turn lead into gold. When they reach an oasis, the Englishman goes searching while the shepherd boy meets a beautiful girl who’s the daughter of the tribe leader. After spending time with her, they marry and her father explains to him the politics of war. When he shares his dream with her, she tells him to go and find his treasure in Egypt while she waits for him as desert women do.

He bumps into the Englishman who met the Alchemist as he begs for the magical secret of turning lead into gold. The Alchemist asks, “Have you tried to do it? Yes? Well keep trying until you achieve it.”

The Englishman is so disappointed because he didn’t learn anything. The Alchemist asks to accompany the shepherd on his task. As they travel, the Alchemist shows him how to master the desert, looking for birds, which means water, etc. Soon they are attacked and the shepherd proves to be an able warrior. They are attacked again and they surrender and are ransomed when the shepherd boy trades gold (he is wealthy) for their lives. He then travels to the pyramids and digs and doesn’t find anything, becoming an archeologist in the process. When he does find treasure, he is beaten and robbed.

            He wonders why he ventured the desert in the first place.

            At that moment he figures out the Alchemist’s secret of how to turn lead into gold.

 

You see Loida everything has a higher destiny, wants a higher destiny. He was lonely shepherd boy and due to his journey he learned a new language, saw a new world, became a businessman and very rich. He mastered a desert, became a warrior, even married a beautiful girl. He became so much more. He was the lead that turned into   gold. It was the Journey, with all the painful betrayals, disappointments and evils that made him more colorful and brilliant.

            The story ends with him racing back to his wife who is waiting.

 

            I don’t think people have the ability to wait. I don’t think people have the power to love. I am not sure if I told you about this. Did I ever tell you about the lady on the bench? I am sure I did. When I was 9 yrs, riding a bike with my mom, I saw this woman sitting on a park bench. She was sitting overlooking a pong, feeding the birds breadcrumbs. No big deal. Well, the next time I came by she was sitting in the same spot. Over the years I saw her, she wasn’t dirty, I think she came in the morning and left before it got dark. But there she was, always there, always looking over the water. Loida, I saw her sitting in the rain and in the snow and heat. So painful to see. So one day I told my friends I was going to sit down and ask her why she was there. I did. And listen to what she told me. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said her lover told her to wait for him. She said she was in so much pain, but she missed him, it did hurt her so much but she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t move on. She needed him so much; she loved him. She loved him.

Yes I know she’s stupid, right? You wouldn’t wait. But you didn’t see what I saw. You didn’t see a love so strong that time couldn’t exhaust it, a love so powerful that distance couldn’t dim it. It survived, the doubts, the storms, and the pain. To me it proved it was the strongest force on earth. However, even that isn’t a message. Everybody can find so many reasons, so many justifications of why a  person should leave, but they should look for more reasons of why it’s worth to struggle to stay together. That was the message of her actions.

 

*           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *           *

 

Well, in my next letter I’m going to begin running commentary on the market place as well as teach you everything about stocks, bonds, options and futures. I’ll give you mastery, and many methods and systems. I’m really reluctant about placing them in this public forum. This is violating the secrets of the temple. Think about this. Look at ancient Egypt; they had sun gods, war gods, and so many idols. You can see the damn thing in Greece with Athena, Aphrodite, etc., and it even extended to Rome and most countries on earth. What accounts for so many gods for hundreds of years? Why? Because the priest and astrologers were always next to the throne. Joseph out the bible and many others. The knew the secret. See the priest knew science. Religion is anti science. The secret was 365. By watching the stars, you  could record and understand the 365 cycle. Don’t forget pre-modern man lived in ignorance of the calendar. Armed with the seasonal knowledge you could know when the Nile would flood, you could predict when the wheat would bloom, when the rain season would come or when droughts were likely. A priest could make these predictions and attribute them to their gods, who the priest represented.

My point is knowledge has always been guarded. Knowledge of the markets can place you about mortal man. It is the greatest transfer of wealth devised by man. Here you cannot only make millions very quickly but billions. In certain areas knowledge is power. Aren’t we fighting wars right now to keep knowledge of certain technologies out of enemies hands?

Money making is serious. And everybody is looking for methods. And if enough people get knowledge of a good method, that method stops working.

A few years ago there was a market pattern where if any stock were down 4 days in a row, on the 5th day it would rise. That pattern doesn’t exist anymore because everybody knows it. The point is developing systems to exploit pattern that sometimes appear.

In upcoming letters I’ll be breaking down the dynamics of various systems, but first I want to get you familiar with asset classes, stocks, bonds and futures, so you know what they are and how they work and their relationship to each other. I’m a pretty good teacher, trust me, I’ve been explaining relationships to bankers recently.

Next letter, I’ll start you off with bonds. But right now I just want you to be aware, a stock doesn’t have to rise to make money, it can even fall and you’ll make money. There is a group of investors called bears. The public is never a bear. A bear is usually a professional who takes the opposite side of your trade. Remember if you are buying, then somebody is selling, and if you’re selling, somebody might be buying. Most likely you will be on the wrong side destined to loose

money. So you got to train yourself to do the opposite of what feels right. The public must loose. They always loose, so they are always wrong.

            Wall Street is war. It is fought between 2 groups of people. The bulls (who profit when their investment rises in value) and bears (who profit when their goes down on value). Bears are few. They are rare. They are usually misunderstood and they are feared. Companies fear them and governments fear them.

            What they do is almost impossible to a novice to understand. They sell stock short. Say what? They borrow, they sell, then buy and give it back. Understand? Nope. Exactly. That’s why there are so few bears.

            First let me try to explain a concept. What I’m explaining is not what bears do. But it will give you an idea of how something could be done.

            Ready? O.k. Say you don’t have any money. Say you also want to buy IBM that is selling at 90 dollars a share. But you won’t have money until next week. So you make an agreement with me. You want to lock in the 90 dollars price now, and you’ll buy the stock next week for 90 dollars.

Do you follow so far? Read this again.

 

            Now let’s say you expect the stock to rise to 100 dollars by next week. So by locking in the price at 90, when the price does rise to 100 dollars next week, you can buy at 90 and immediately sell it for 100 and make a 10-dollar profit.

 

            Do you follow?

Now here we are. I am a bear. I agree to sell you that stock next week for 90 dollars. Now while you are secretly hoping for the price to rise, I am secretly hoping for the price to fall.

            Think about it. If the price falls to 60 dollars, I can buy it  for 60 and sell it to you for 90 and pocket 30 dollars. The more it falls the more I make. If it fell to zero, I could buy it for 1 cent and sell it to you for 90 and you must buy it. Hell, I can even help it along spreading nasty rumors about the company such as the CEO is stealing or a lawsuit is coming. I want to cause panic so people bail out of the stock and dump it driving the stock price down.

Do you follow? O.k. here is what a bear kind of does. I am making up an example to give you a visual picture.

Most people buy stock, hold it for years and forget about them. Those stocks live at the bank or in your broker’s account. What you don’t know is that bankers lend them out. You don’t pay attention to them anyway.

            Say you have 1 million shares of IBM at 90 dollars each (90 million worth). As a bear I sniff them out. I tell your bank to lend them out to me for 7 days. I give the bank 30 thousand.

Now I take your 1 million shares and sell them and pocket 90 million dollars.

2) Next I begin a rumor and create a panic as people dump their stock.

3) Let’s say the price drops to 70 dollars a share.

4) Now using my 90 million dollar profit, I buy 1 million shares at 70 dollars each or 70 million   

    worth.

5) I pocket 20 million dollars. (90 million -70 million)

6) I return you 1 million shares. It goes to the bank in your account and you never know they were rented out. All you know is that your 90-dollar stock dropped to 70 dollars.

 

Well, remember, it takes 20 years to grow a forest and it can be destroyed in 20 hours and a match. Stocks collapse or fall faster than they rise. So bears make money faster.

 

                       

                                               Well got to go. More in a few days.

 

                                                                                  Your Lancelot

 

 

 

 

 # 2

 

 

Hi again,

 

            So what’s new about you girl? What about you is different? How do you now measure life? Is greatness still possible? I guess the question really comes down to how greatness is measured. Being a decent human being could be considered great. Writing a life changing novel or a musical score that is timeless could be considered great. Do people become great by accident or design?

            A few years ago I saw something so compelling that it changed me. There was an ironman event that took place in Hawaii. By far it is the most grueling of all competitions. It’s a race that does not discriminate. You have to swim 5 miles across the ocean to reach land, then you must get in a bike and ride 60 miles, then you get off your bike and run 40 miles. The competition begins at dawn because it is an all day and night competition. And the people who enter are shocking, the young, the old, the fit and the not so fit, men and women.

            Well, there was this old man; he was pretty fit, in his late 50’s. He got into the water at dawn and he had a younger brother that was paralyzed from the neck down, who had spent his entire life in a wheelchair. He was lowered into the ocean and placed in a tire tube. This old man with one arm pushed him along the 5 miles and everybody was amazed. When they emerged from the water, he picked his brother up and carried him to a bike and strapped him to the front. They were not in first place, but they weren’t last either. Then they began that grueling journey, across lava rock, up steep hills, and across the wastelands of Hawaii. Then he carried his brother and placed him in a stroller and pushed him at a remarkably fast pace. It was night when the first ironmen and –women began crossing the finish line. Some people came across and collapsed, others literally crawled over the line. The crowds were so big, when everybody came across the finish line it was to thundering applause. One after another, but strangely nobody went home, everybody including the participants were waiting, looking into the darkness. Then out of the darkness came this man running pushing the stroller, and when he crossed the line, people exploded. People were crying. So many camera flashes exploding. He unbuckled his brother and lifted him up, and everybody sprayed him with champagne, and this brother who suffered a lifetime of neglect understood what it felt like to be a champion, and the first place winner ran up to the both and gave the trophy to the little brother.

            Then the T.V. screen went black and there were two tiny words that appeared:

                                                           I can!

 

            Then I realized this is the meaning of sublime. I do know elevated, and know what that means but never saw a human example of sublime.

            Have you ever thought of and explored the dynamic of a hero? When you think of it, a hero is somebody whose instinct of self-preservation is suspended. Most people are sadly pragmatic and place their own interest and advantage over all things. But to be a hero there is no care or caution. Well there is caring, but it’s for others. This can be called self-sacrifice, or indifference to the well being of oneself. Or even a devotion to a cause. This person overflows. Now I’m not sure you can call somebody who acts heroic before witnesses. Many people do step up when called to do it. I mean anybody can be aroused to aid a despairing one. But who are you when nobody is watching? Would they walk on, pass by because they are not in the mood or don’t know what to do. Think about this, when a baby alligator cries his mother comes running and this isn’t an exclusive instinct for reptiles. I think this is partially the reason why all babies have that remarkable cuteness of big eyes, wailing, fragile and helplessness, because it arouse the instinct to protect. I am sure you have seen babies pull on dog tails, and the mean dog is pleading with his eyes, because he knows what could happen.

            Speaking of dogs and babies. The world has its share of silent and mistreated heroes, and unknown heroes. What if a senator on Jan. 2001 passed a bill to have all cockpit doors bulletproof? How much disaster could he prevent? But who would know? But is he a hero no less? And regarding mistreated heroes, let me provide an illustration. There is a story of a man who left his dog to guard his infant in a crib, while he went on hunting. When he returns he finds the front door open, pools of blood, furniture ripped apart, the baby carriage flipped over and move blood. The dog is sitting there, blood on his jaws, wagging his tail. The man shoots the dog and the dog falls on his side, still wagging its tail. Then the man hears the baby crying and sees the dead wolf.

            Yes I know, you don’t even have to say it; I understand what you’re thinking all too well. I just wanted you to know that I understand it can take awhile to understand heroes, and even love. You were the whole world to me. I wanted you to need me as much as I needed you. I saw how you gave. I knew how you loved.

            Some years ago I was given a children’s book. It has drawing narrating this tiny story. But it’s so powerful; it’s a parable of all time. It has impact on so many levels; I don’t even know how to begin to describe it. It’s called “the giving tree” by Silverstein (I’m not sure of his first name). It says:

 

Once upon a time there was a little boy and he loved a tree, and there was a tree that loved a little boy. (It shows a little boy hugging a tree). Every day the boy went into the forest and collects her leaves, made a crown and played king of the forest. Or he would swing from her branches, when he got hungry he’d pluck beautiful apples and when he was tired from playing he’d sleep in her shade. He was happy and the tree was happy.

            Time passed and the next time he came around he was tall and handsome and stylish. As he carved a girl’s name into her trunk, she said “Come boy, come eat some apples, come swing from my branches, come play and fall asleep in my shade and be happy.”

            The boy said, “I don’t want to swing from your branches, I want to go on dates but I don’t have any money, can you give me money?”

The tree then said “I don’t have money, but come and collect my apples, take them to the market, sell them and you’ll have money and then you’ll be happy.” He did this and the tree was happy…

            More time passed, and one day the boy came around holding a briefcase and dressed in a suit.

            The tree was excited “Come boy, come swing from my branches, come play and lay in the shade and be happy.

            “I don’t want to do these things”, said the boy. “I have a big family, but I need a house. Can you give me a house?”

            The tree said she had no house, she had no need, the forest was her home. “Come on boy, chop off my branches, and use them to build your house, then you’ll be happy.”

            The boy removed all her branches, leaving her as a tall pole in the ground. But the tree was happy.

            Time went by. The boy returned, he was fat, had a ballspot and bitter scowl. The tree saw the boy and was overcome from happiness. “Come boy, come lay in my shade, come play and be happy.”

            “I don’t want to play or lay down. My family is a mess, my health is bad, and I lost my business. I am depressed. I just want to go sail away. Can you help me?”

            “Sure, but I’m only a log. Come boy, cut me down, hollow me out and make a boat. Then you can sail way and be happy.”

            He cut her down, leaving a stump, and the tree was happy, but not totally.

            Time passed and the boy returned, wearing thick glasses, he was wrinkled and used a walking chair. He gave the tooth a toothless smile.

            “Hi boy… It’s so good to see you again, but I don’t think I have anything else to give to you. I have no more apples.

            “It’s ok, I don’t have teeth so I wouldn’t be able to eat them.

            “I also don’t have branches you can swing from.”

            “I’m too old to climb, plus my bones hurt.”

            “I can’t offer you any shade, I’m just a lowly stump.”

            “I don’t want anything, I only wanted to come back to the place where I was once so happy. I only want to sit and think of those days, and be happy.”

            “Well”, cried the tree, “A stump is perfect for sitting. Come sit boy and be happy.”

            There was once a time when a boy loved a tree and a tree loved a boy.

 

            Isn’t this beautiful? It just chokes me up.

 

            Loida, I just feel everything in life comes full circle. I believe in that. Perhaps passing clouds do reappear again and again. People come in and out of each other’s lives only to reappear time & time again. Love is rekindled, we bump into people who knew us in 3rd grade, and we go on long journeys only to come back home again.

            Then again there isn’t a reoccurring circle, perhaps life is about chance encounters, luck, and even design. Is there such thing as luck? Chance? Well I think so. But not as you might think. I don’t believe in blowing on dice for luck, or knocking on wood, or crossing fingers, and certainly not pure superstition like black cats, walking under ladders, breaking mirrors, Friday 13th. In these examples you do this and bad or good luck follows. I think this is the wrong way to look at things. Loida, check it out this way, imagine, your clock goes off, you hit snooze, so you wake up late for work. Because you’re in a hurry you can’t find your keys, you don’t check the forecast and get rained on, you miss the bus, the all the lights turn red, you get fired, can’t pay the rent, your mate leaves, you’re evicted and…it continues to snowball. In this example, a single misconnect knocks you off balance and you simply never recover. Imagine playing tennis, they hit the ball where you are not. You play back the ball is hit short, you go left and the ball is hit on the right. You’re out of sync. Now think about when you’re in sync. All the lights turn green as you approach. Everything connects, it’s like you can do no wrong. It can be constructed as luck. But in reality, it’s just a question of balance and off balance.

            As you know I don’t watch much T.V.; I like to live rather than be a spectator. I’d rather live a fantasy than watch a pretend fantasy 6 hours a night. I hope you are not addicted to television programming. To battle T.V. you got to ask, “What would I rather be doing?”

            Anyway, regarding balance, I remember the Karate Kid. Yeah sure on the surface the movie seemed to be about this boy, how he was bullied, how Myogi decided to teach him by scrubbing floor and waxing cars, and how in the tournament he was victorious. However, if you really watch it, you’ll understand the point. As Daniel figures out how waxing cars can teach him how to block, he wants to learn how to punch, and Myogi stops him saying, “First learn balance. When balance good, karate good, everything good. When balance bad, kung fu bad, better just go home.”

            Next he has Daniel balance on a rowboat, then stand in the ocean waves. Then Daniel watches Myogi on a stump doing a graceful crane style jump on one leg. When Myogi sees a picture of Daniel’s love interest, he tells him to go win her back and find his balance “Remember what I said about balance? Well, balance is not just for karate. Balance good for the whole life. Find balance and everything will be better.” When Daniel had his leg broken in the tournament, he explained to Myogi how he wouldn’t be able to achieve balance knowing his opponents got the best of him. So his leg was fixed and he used the famous crane kick to defeat his opponent.

            I think achieving balance can bring peace, in all aspects of life. It helps you see things so different, and helps soften bad feelings and anguish.

            I so miss our talks. Good talks are so rare. People don’t think deeply anymore. All that casual chitchat leaves your feeling empty. It’s like frosting, all fluff and no substance. Look, I’ll write later this week and tell you more about the investment world and your positions, ok? I hope you are ok.

 

                                                                                             

Your Lancelot

 

# 1

 

 

            One of my greatest pleasures was reading to you. Over the years I read some epic poems and virtually all the classic literature. Most epics are always directed towards some goal, where the hero suffers 1001 dangers towards happiness. There are some great love stories.

Hugo’s Les Miserables, Hardy’s Tess D’Urberville, Stendhal’s The Red and the Black. All these stories are gripping, the passion true to life and they are bittersweet. But there are a few love stories without peer. They make the soul sing.

            One love story I think I read to you- if I did not then I should of read it to you- was Lancelot du Lac. It’s everything I want to say to you. It’s a parable of how love commands you to transform yourself for another’s sake. Plus it’s romance at its highest.

            Lancelot was an infant taken by the Lady of the Lake after his parents’ kingdom was sacked. She raised him, cultivated his abilities, and when he reached 17, crowned his beauty with white armor and a white train, sending him to Arthur’s court to be knighted.

            She warned him not to stay longer than a single day under Arthur’s roof. Instead to go out into the world, seeking the most impossible task, which he might win renown. At court, he encountered Guinevere and being so shy nearly fainted in her presence. He was not able to look upon her. Now because Arthur was slow to knight him, he sought to leave when Guinevere asked him to be her knight. He was instantly transformed.

            Out of fear of failing in her eyes, he did great deeds solely in her name. He conquered lands, saved damsels and sent such treasure to Guinevere that everyone was astounded. Nobody remembered him, least of all Guinevere was so flattered and curious about why anybody would do so much for her. She sought him out. Just as she got close, Lancelot was captured and imprisoned in a dungeon by a love struck princess.

            Around this time, the Christian Sir Galahad assailed Arthur’s land. And learning that Guinevere could loose her crown, Lancelot begged the princess to free him for a time, promising to return to her confinement if he was not killed in battle. He arrived in red armor and looked up at Guinevere who ignored him because of all the battles taking place. Feeling wounded, he grabbed his sword and did such deeds that every enemy retreated thinking him bewitched. When Guinevere began to realize who this knight might be, he was gone. He returned to his cage as all of Camelot searched for him. Guinevere could not find him.

            Galahad reassembled a few months later with a greater force, and again Lancelot begged to fight. The Princess would only ransom him on one of the three conditions: to tell his name (he did not know it), who he loved (he would not say) or if he would do even greater deeds (he confessed he would if commanded to do so). He was given all black armor and again looked up at Guinevere who ignored him. The Princess was there and sent down word commanding him to fight. He grabbed his sword and rode into the battle with such bearing, all the maidens flew to the window, and after a quick battle returned, dismounted and looked up at Guinevere. The Princess realized who he loved and told Guinevere to command him to defend her kingdom. When Guinevere sent word, he only asked if she would be watching. He ordered two dozen swords, horses and lances. And began to fight with such intensity, no matter how many blows he suffered he would not go down, and he cut everything he hit in half. Men in the field stopped fighting to watch. Even Galahad stopped to watch and could not comprehend why a man would fight so hard. He decided not to conquer the land if it risked such a knight might die. Galahad begged for his friendship and Lancelot agreed only on condition he surrender his lands to Guinevere. He agreed and the war was over.

            When Galahad pledged himself to Guinevere she begged him for an introduction to the great knight. After much-complicated maneuvers, it was arranged by a lake. She got so much pleasure questioning this shy and trembling knight amazed at the power she had over him. She asked him why he did such silly acts and he said because he thought it would make him worthy of her friendship. When she pretended not to believe him to see how much she could upset him, he fainted. She was his only weakness. They became lovers, and grew so attached, that when Galahad prepared to take him to distant lands, a war began because she did not want him to leave, and Galahad had surrendered everything for his friendship and assistance.

 

            To me this story is the ultimate expression of love. To love somebody so much that they’d willing to conquer the world and lay it at someone’s feet. You once did your best for me; you felt so strongly for me that you were willing to elevate me so high. And I repaid your love so poorly. Look, I know I messed up between us, but this is how I’m going to repair it and make amends. I’m about to lay great wealth at your feet. I spent the last several years becoming something better. I have spent 15 hour days, every day without pause studying the markets, understanding all the factors that influence stocks, bonds, options, currencies, commodities and derivatives, because sadly to understand anything you have to understand everything. It’s a 3rd dimensional puzzle that moves as you play, so I had to test strategies, obsess over economic conditions, and develop mathematical and theoretical values of thousands of companies and dozens of commodities. I advise and even train traders and put out extensive material over the web and I’m pretty much ready to blitz the hell out of the stocks and markets. Starting now. A colossal fortune. Each week I’m going to be posting information so you can share in the progress, the set backs, the plays and reasons. Step by uneasy step. I’m going to hand it over to you. The marketplace is the last bastion where a rag to riches story can still be engineered. And the commodities market is the only place where you can make or loose a fortune overnight. If you catch a bull market in a single commodity, and keep reinvesting your gains quickly it’s uncommon to run a 4,000-dollar account into 22 million. We’ll get into this in a moment. I know you originally had an interest in finance and teaching, so I know you’ll appreciate what I’LL explain. And as I break things down, you’ll be learning and mastering it.

            Look I want to apologize for letting you down. Don’t let your heart grow black on my account. You had an aura of such wonder and I don’t want you to become as hard and cold as a rattlesnake.

            Me? Well I’m kind of Zen, at peace. I accept that in life we are all dealt our share of tragedies and setbacks. There is so much beyond our control. We cannot escape things like sorrow and even boredom, but we can control how we respond to it. I choose enthusiasm. Ever watch children? How they deal with collisions in life? They fall out a tree, the very next day they are ready again to take on the day. Music and playtime will send them dancing again. Nothing carries over. They are full of life and ready to live. By saying this I want you to know that I don’t hate you. My plight might have helped in order for maturity to take place. Plus it’s said struggle helps you grow. I find It’s true that it doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, what matters is how many times you get up. The same storm that sweeps away one kind of life, also brings new opportunity.

            People change. You must realize that. Nothing is stable. Time will change all things dramatically. Life is change. I always tell people to fix their lives, to fix their relationships. To improve themselves and try to practice what I preach. If you hear me talking about it, then I’m doing it. What you feel and believe right now is not the final authority. You don’t see life as you did at 6 months old, or 6 years old or 16 years old, and you won’t see life as you do now at 43 years, or when you’re 66 years old. So adopting the view, than an X must always remain an X and can never be a Y, is an artificial way of viewing the universe. If anything life is a curve ball.

            But I’ll tell you what sometimes happens. We get stuck. Look around. Look at everybody. People are stuck in jobs. Jobs that are total drudgery. Total thieves of time. Jobs that carry you far away from what you rather be doing. Life is about joy. Or look at relationships. Sure they can answer the need for safety and loneliness, but when they cease to grow, we naturally rebel against them also and feel sad and dissatisfied, because they don’t answer our need for joy. And perhaps the worst of all, we measure life by the pattern of life. How time is structured throughout the day. How life is divided by activities. And what gets the largest time dedication. Is it full of dreams, and a forward motion towards life enriching goals. Or is it wake up. Get ready for work. Work. Boredom. Lunch. Unstimulating conversations. Home. Eat. A few conversations. T.V. Bed. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Never varying. What’s the solution? Do what you enjoy. Do what makes you being sing. There are people who risk all to dance on Broadway. People who took the chance to become movie stars. People who sacrificed all to write and market legendary novels. Many who struggle to begin companies. These are not people who look upon their lives and question Will this go on forever? Or who sit and sweep floors wondering if an opportunity will fall into their lap.

            Here are two problems. People are way to invested in their everyday. They don’t seek opportunities. They don’t embrace change. They don’t question what they’d rather be doing. And their groove becomes forever. We are good at providing 1,000 excuses to ourselves. We silence imagination.

            The second problem or rather fear is in starting over. Sometimes we rather not envision a new life. Why? It’s too scary. We are made to crave stability, right? So why thrust ourselves into the unknown where we may not be prepared. However I think desire trumps risk. Think of the young starlet who gets off the Hollywood bus. She doesn’t have a soul in the whole world or anywhere to go. With a few dollars she is determined to beat the odds and make it. She embraces chance and opportunities. She washes tables while going on auditions, because her dream justifies the struggle, her need to change. To transform herself into an image she could worship. Hell I found out the hard way that those who wear the shawl might not have the shoulders for the shawl. So I had to change. Sadly I find others who defeat their journey through low expectation, a lack of creativity, and comparisons to others. It’s true the people around you, in your orbit, reflect you. Our closest people are usually in our social, financial and intellectual class. Like attracts like. Passion attracts passion. We do a little better or a little worse than those around us. A psychological water level. They become our model. They may not have it so good but at least we know they have it. So they’ll forgive you for not wishing to own a mansion. Or a yacht. Or a blue chip company. Or becoming a star. This is what keeps us from wanting to be something greater. It’s only a dream. And sadly dreams are easy to ignore. However do that and you will loose meaning in your life. You have to become something in order to have more to share. Without that sense of achievement, there will always be a void that sex can’t fill, children and relationships can’t fill, even religion. We were not born to exist like plants, but to fill ourselves with the joys of the earth. The electrifying conversations that echo within you and keep you tossing and twisting at night. Feeling such love for a human that you are terrified and silly. If you are not overcome by the emotion of love, well you are dying within life and cheating your heart, mind and body.

            Each day we die a thousand little deaths. Disappointments, tragedies, boredom, stagnation, health issue, age and personal poverties. How do we survive this? How do we keep our hearts airy and light? How do we keep from daily complaints? You live! You live to collect fascinating experiences. Go travel. Go listen to the roar of the lion. Hear the sound of a whale calling on starlit water. Go see a legendary sunset in Key West or Ecuador. Fall in love everyday. Thank those who you care about and cared about. Thank those who gave you the opportunity to feel such an emotion. Even if it was unreturned, even if you felt deceived. For a taste of that bliss and ecstasy, please deceive me again. Even love unreturned has its rainbow. Live life with enthusiasm. Accept everyone. Don’t be someone who can be cheated, or who can’t melt, who can’t fall down or can’t take chances. It’s all part of the chapter. You are strong, I am strong. When has a dragon ever perished by a snakebite, or a small annoyance. What can’t we survive or rise from? Go out and dance. Go listen to the new band playing down the street. Go around people who are fun and alive and do not become old before your time. Keep your heart young, your mind young and you’ll stay beautiful. Sure you can travel through books, the web, T.V., but also know there is a dynamic that can’t be embraced by those mediums. There is a wide difference about reading about a roller coaster, seeing one on T.V., and being one. To feel life it must be embraced through all the senses.

            Look when we are hurt, we become afraid that we’ll be hurt again. We loose trust, and we fear life. A walk through a meadow hides snakes. Walking in the rain gets us struck by lightning. Horseback across a river means we drown. And worst than fear of life, we can get lazy before life.  By protecting ourselves from fear, we also protect ourselves from joy. It’s true it confuses the body. The body doesn’t know the difference between laughter and sorrow. Both rack the body, produce tears, wrench the stomach, only your mind attaches meaning. An extreme emotion is and extreme emotion. It changes your temperature, your heart rate. Guard against one and you guard against all. What seeps in is boredom, a flat line existence that nothing is worth the effort. Every time you wake up, the strength is sapped right out of you and you lie back down and fall asleep in the snow. I feel responsible for your life. You cared about me more than anyone. Here’s my plan. I am going to keep this letter up for 2 weeks, then twice a week on Sunday and Wednesday I am going to post a new letter. I’ll number them and put the newest one in front of the older ones.

 

            Now to something different that I am very exited to talk to you about. Ready? O.k. Most people who deal with Wall Street don’t get rich. The majority actually feeds their money to this casino and looses everything invested. That’s a fact.

            The stock market actually allows the public an opportunity to double their money. The majority will never double their money. They would be lucky to gain 20% on the money invested. But it’s all about 100% returns. Let’s look at why.

            Say you have 1,000 dollars. If you double your money you will end up with 2,000 dollars. Simple, right? Now if you invest that 2,000 dollars and you double your money, you end up with 4,000 dollars, right?

            Well if you got 10 returns of 100% (doubling your money) you’d have 1 million dollars if you began with 1,000 dollars.

 

            Example: 1,000 ; 2,000 ; 4,000 ; 8,000 ; 16,000 ; 32,000 ; 64,000 ; 128,000 ; 250,000 ; 500,000 ;

1 million.

            If you started with 250 dollars you’d have to get a compound return of 100% (12 times) in order to make a million. If you could do this 24 times you’d have 1 billion dollars. Try it, do the math.

It’s not as easy as it seems, because the public loves to buy big known companies like Wal-Mart which cost 41 dollars a share and may move to 56 dollars a share in 1 year. Well, Wal-Mart would have to rise to 82 dollars to double your money 1 time. Which is unlikely based on how slow it moves.

            Believe it or not, Wal-Mart and actually all companies are bad, and their stocks only double or triple under certain events or certain economic times. But few people ever make the connections. Say there was a mad cow disease scare. Well that means the public will be scared to eat contaminated beef. This means stock like McDonalds, Burger King and Taco Bell will all collapse. But you got to be able to see how things are interconnected. If people don’t eat beef they got to eat something, so KFC (yum brands), Red Lobster (seafood), and pork products will rise in value. So you’d jump into those companies. And after they rise, you get out with a profit and quickly invest in Burger King and McDonalds, because people are not going to stop eating beef forever. So you buy those while low and ride them up as they recover.

            A current theme you might of wanted to play in the last months would have been fertilizer. Why? Last year during the summer we had record oil prices. When fuel cost is that high we tend to look at alternative fuels. Solar technology companies tool off, but the while world thought they found the solution in ethanol. This is a product made from corn. They add this to crude to stretch it. Al lot of ethanol companies came into existence and expanded rapidly. But when you have too many companies doing the same thing, they eat each others market share and nobody makes much money. Anyway, this demand for corn pushed corn prices from 2 dollars a bushel to 4 dollars a bushel from last November to February. That 2-dollar increase doesn’t look like much, but in the commodities market that would of made you millions many times over. We’ll explain that later.

            Now corn began booming. Now since corn is also used in cattle feed, the price of cattle goes up also, and so does milk. And it also drives up sugar, since corn syrup becomes expensive. Farmers all around the world began seeing dollar signs in their eyes due to global ethanol demand. Everybody becomes a corn farmer. From Brazil to Mexico, from Africa to Russia, all plant record corn. Well if they all become corn farmers, then nobody plants cotton, or soybean or wheat. And these prices shoot based on reduced supply.

So the agriculture commodities market is hot. So who benefits in the stock market? The company that makes fertilizers and seeds. If you look at the 52-week high and low of Terra Nitrogen, it rose from 7 dollars to 141 dollars (look in the newspaper- see it for yourself).

            What does that mean? Well 7 becomes 14 (doubled); 28 becomes 56 (doubled); 56 becomes 112 (doubled), and you have some extra to give you 141.

            Well it doubled 4 times. That turned your 1,000 into 16,000 dollars. If you found 6 more doubles, you would be a millionaire.

            Potash also did well; it is a major supplier of fertilizer. It doubled 3 times.

            Another great economic theme in play as we speak is China. China has hardworking people with very little rights. Also their currency is artificially low. Since the people will bust their asses, not sure and need only pennies to survive, that country has become the sweatshop of the world. As companies open factories, they also build up Chinese infrastructure and shift over their technology. Now China is modernizing quickly. They are educating their people and unleashing government protected corporations. Their stock market rose 150% since Jan. 07. This means the average company doubled in size & revenue. Right now you can make a killing in any Chinese related company. Last month Baidu rose from 200 to 350 or 75% in a month. Look at 3 companies that just came into existence since Sept.

Vmware Inc. rose from $30 to $125 (it doubled twice). China Arehightechtorial Eng. rose from 4 dollars to 17 dollars (doubled twice). Hell. China Digital T.V. just came out Oct. 5th, 07. It rose from 15 dollars to 60 dollars (doubled twice).

            All Chinese stocks are moving fast.

            A third there is in shipping. Tankers. Why? As you know, we have a huge budget deficit. We are fighting two wars; we had natural disasters, tax cuts, high cost social services, and a ton of new government agencies. Money going out, no money coming in. So we bash down our dollar so that foreigners can come here and buy our stuff cheaply. Right now Canada’s money is worth more than ours. When you hear oil prices rising, it is not due to instability in the Middle East, it’s because our money is loosing value and takes more money to buy the same amount of oil. Anyway, foreigners rush in to buy our companies, our resources, our stocks and treasury bonds, and as they move it back out our country, it goes by sea. So that our export sector is fire hot. TBS International, Excel Maritime, Diana Shipping and DryShip have all taken off. DryShip rose from 12 to over 100 dollars a share. Go to the papers and look at the 52-week high and low. That would have tripled your money.

            If you noticed, I did not mention Apple or Coca-Cola or Citibank. Why? Those sectors are out of fashion.

            Believe it or not, stocks are way to easy for me, plus they don’t make money as fast as if you used options or played futures (commodities).

            Like you are probably aware we had a housing bubble. To get our economy out of the past tech bubble slump the Fed. Reserve pushed down interest rates (since you’d rather pay low interest on money you borrow than high interest). People rushed to banks to get loans to buy homes and open businesses. This created jobs and made the money flow. Pumping money in the system also causes inflation. Housing prices rose. More money flowed in. People became millionaires flipping houses. The government began rate hikes. You had to pay more money on the money you borrowed. It got so expensive to borrow money, people stopped. Nobody bought homes or cars on credit. The automotive industry collapsed, and so did housing. All those defaults fell on banks. They lost money and tightened qualifications, so it was no longer easy for businesses to borrow, and now they are stumbling. But as housing fell, so did the price of lumber since new homes are not being built (there are too many homes on the market). Lumber is at a 12 year low. But as interest rates come back down, and housing improves, so will lumber prices. This will be a colossal play.

            Commodities are not like stock. You buy vast amounts of a resource that you will sell at a future date or stand for delivery of that resource. But you are actually trading around contracts that give you the right to buy or sell that resource. And because you are only dealing with a contract, you can finance the purchase of the contract with as little as 2% of the contract value.

            So if you are buying gold, a contract is for 100 ounces. If the current price of gold is 700 dollar an ounce, then the contract value is 70,000 dollars (700 x 100 ounces). And that means you can finance it by putting up 2% or $1,400. You are hoping that gold rises before it’s due; if it does you ca sell it back to the exchange who might sell it to a jeweler or bank or government, and you can pocket the difference. You can also profit by making a bet that gold will fall.

            Well, in limber you are buying 110,000 board feet. Almost 200 miles. You only put up $700.

            If you are buying corn or wheat or soy, you are buying 5,000 bushels. You only put up $375.

            If you are buying cattle, you are buying 40,000 lbs.

            If you are buying sugar, you are buying 12,000 lbs or 52 tons.

            If you are buying oil, you are buying 1,000 barrels.

            You can also buy currency, or stock market indexes like the DOW, or treasury bonds.

 

            Due to the vast amounts you are playing with, when a commodity gains by a penny, it is big money for you.

            Example: You are buying a contract for 120,000 lbs of sugar. If sugar goes up 1 cent, then you get 1 cent for every pound. Imagine 120,000 pennies. Well that 1200 dollars a contract for each 1 cent move. If you were only putting up 600 dollars a contract, then a 1-cent move would allow you to buy 2 more contracts. This is called pyramiding. You want to use your gains to buy more and more contracts. So that you own 10 contracts or 100 contracts or 1000 contracts.

            Here’s a chart. It shows what you would gain based on the price move and how many contracts you own.

 

Sugar                          1 contract        10 contracts     100 contracts   500 contracts   1000 contracts

 

1 cent move                  $1120               $11,200            $112,000          $560,000          $1,120,000

10 cent move                $11,200            $112,000          $1,120,000        $5,600,000        $11,200,000

25 cent move                $28,000            $280,000          $2,800,000        $14,000,000      $28,000,000

 

            Now, commodities are so dangerous because this is also how much you can loose, so you got to control your risk. If you are wrong you got to dump your position quick. The price will not go against you if you are right. So you better be right.

            Here’s a play that is upcoming and one you just missed. Now wheat and corn is the cheapest commodity that you can trade (with the exception of currency mini contracts). A full price contract of corn & wheat cost 375 dollars (you can buy mini contracts for 100 dollars). Think of what this means. If you are only putting up 2%, then a 2% move in your favor doubles your money. That could happen in 3 minutes.

            Now since June wheat rose from 5 dollars to 9 dollars. That is a 4-dollar move. Well, when you buy wheat you are buying 5,000 bushels. A 1-cent move equals 50 dollars or 5,000 pennies. So a 1-dollar move equals 5,000 dollars. And a 4-dollar move equals 20,000 dollars ($5,000 x $4 move). Thus for every 375 dollars invested would of been 20,000 dollars.  Or better if you invested 1,000 dollars on wheat, your 3 contracts would have given you $ 60,000.

            Well if you used options on futures, you could have magnified that bet where you would of made

$400,000. Well, this is a missed trade. Didn’t have at the time someone I trusted to trade it. I have several now.

            But let’s get back to wheat. That 9-dollar price is not sustainable and it has to come back down to 6 dollar by Feb. 08. Why? Remember wheat rose because corn demand created tons of corn farmers. Nobody was left to grow wheat, so it took off. That is what happened last June until now.

            Well corn is harvested in Oct.-Nov. When all that corn globally hits the market, it is going to swamp demand and prices will collapse. It’s beginning now. A lot of corn farmers will go bankrupt. When the corn prices get low, nobody is going to want to be a corn farmer, so they will look and see how wheat and soybean are rising like crazy. And not seeing the reason, they are all going to jump into wheat & soybean, and grow it. Then when harvest season comes, they are all going to dump their wheat on the market on a global level, and the price of wheat will collapse. It is that move that will be capitalized on. Yes you can make a bet on a price decline for the exact same gain. I showed some people how to do wheat options so the bet should be magnified. In either case they will turn it over to you. You’re entitled to it. Remember twice a week you will be updated on everything, plus a kind of personal letter.

            I got to go and just wanted you to know.

                                                                                 

 

Your Lancelot